It's WAY PAST Time To Retake Control & DRIVE!!!

Man, one just never knows what may lie ahead these days!

For those of you who’ve followed this circus bear show these past months you know it’s been one hell of a ride! A year ago about now things were awesome & getting better by the day, there was happiness again in an empty ol’heart with hopes of an amazing loving & sharing relationship & the fitness journey was even progressing better than any hope previously held then we hit a bit of a speed bump around Christmas but leveled back off & soared again right up until Valentine’s eve then crashed & burned & burned & burned well…ya know!

There’ve been worse days & not SOOO bad of days since. Things begin to look up, one way or another, then ya get kicked in the soul again or surprise! You get reassigned into a position you hate, working for a guy you can’t trust. Then you find a side gig you enjoy, love actually, & they begin talking seriously about making it a full time gig, things begin to look up then…things slow down, they get nervous, conservative & responsible I should say, so the outlook dims again.

Things on the home front seem like maybe there’s some hope & desire of healing after all but then, now & then, all the old maladies pop up from time to time making that hope just seem a sham show in hopes of hanging onto a meal ticket. Ya know, all the same BS it seems everybody’s going through these days!

One pal’s wife hates his job cause he’s always on the road so now they're splitting up, a cool lady from the side gig hates her husband’s job cause it lets him be home too often (WTF?) so she’s prepping to file cause she can’t stand to be around him anymore & yet another close pal loses his marbles over unfounded domestic accusations by his step daughter & nearly blows your head off when you try to stop him from ruining his life by going after the falsely accused, magnum in hand…just another day in paradise right?!?!?

Okay, enough damn whining! Looking at this smoldering train wreck from a nearby bridge, one that’s often seemed tantalizingly inviting these past few months, I’ve come to realize a couple things. (1) this same ol’shit just ain’t working anymore, (2) one way or another, with or without me, things have gotta change!!!

I’ve hung onto the hope of mutual love WAY longer than was EVER realistic & the self inflicted burning pain in my soul that’s caused has been MUCH worse than anything anybody else could’ve EVER inflicted upon me & also because of that unrealistic hope I’ve put up with BS on the work front, in the name of playing it safe, WAY longer than I should’ve, given the fact recruiters are still contacting me regularly from when I was hunting for this job last spring, SOOO time to make some changes!

Now, one of the best deals still on the table involves change, A LOT OF CHANGE! It pays what both my current jobs pay combined, it includes a company provided furnished apartment & company car while allowing me to get back to my passion of making precision parts out of challenging alloys on ultra modern, high tech equipment! WTH have I been waiting for these past couple months while this guy’s been calling?!?!?

Well, there is one little challenge; it involves becoming an ExPat, moving to a mountain top in the Philippines for 4 years! At the end of that 4 year gig I can either (A) re-up for another 4 there (B) re-up for another 4 years at any of their other international facilities or (C) come on back to any of their many domestic locations SOOO, given recent personal realizations, I’ve decided WTH! Time to see just how serious they are!!! I cleared the tele-interivewing deal with flying colors & am now heading to upstate NY, to their world HQ, for an all day round of panel interviews, flying out Wednesday night & returning Thursday night afterwards.

Time’ll tell but one thing’s for certain; it’s time for things to change & if I drive those changes myself, I’ll have nobody to blame for the outcome but myself! A dear one once told me I HAD to make these kinds of changes FOR myself & it's WAY PAST time I woke the hell up & listened!

It's WAY PAST time to retake control of this train wreck, set'er back on the tracks, fire the boiler, full steam ahead!

Rock on pals & buckle up! This might just get crazier than it's already been but at least there's gonna be somebody at the wheel, foot on the gas mind ya!!!

PULLING THROUGH…

Okay, so last night I did my good deed for the week! JRs girlfriend recently graduated cosmetology school & passed her state board exam so now she’s interviewing at area salons hoping to acquire gainful employ to payoff her school debt. There’s a place just a couple doors down the strip mall from Helga’s House of Pain that she’d really like to get into as they have great hours, the manager enjoys teaching new stylists her skills & apparently it doesn’t pay too bad for a beginner either BUT here was the catch; before receiving a job offer from them part of the interview was to arrange & cut first a ladies hair then a guys. Now you’d think JR would be the logical guinea pig here but he keeps his hair buzzed since he performs physical labor in a semi air conditioned factory all day SOOO dad “volunteered!” Now, let’s keep in mind that my hair is just now growing back from her “practice session” the weekend before her board exam so I wasn’t exactly thrilled but hey, she needed a victim & I was “nearing” the need for a trim LOL! All went pretty well so hopefully today she’ll get a happy phone call soon.

Afterwards I “buzzed” over to the side job & knocked out a couple parts then had a great phone call with a dear friend on the way home. Slept half ways decent; (2) 3 hour naps with odd dreams about my long since passed parents but nothing TOO bizarre, then cruised on into Helga’s House of Pain & cranked out 280 HIIT cardio calories, partly on the upright bike & partly on the hill climbing dreadmill with 83,600 LBs of core iron crunched, twisted & extended in the middle!

Showered, dressed, then battled the Memphis morning morons through a mean, nasty, wicked, thunderstorm to reach the day job. I’m still haggling with the side job owners as they really want me to take over operations full time there BUT with all the capital investments they’ve made on new equipment lately they’re just biding some time, trying to make sure at least a couple of these new customers pan out so the cash flow remains safely adequate to absorb the hit I’d represent which is logic I can appreciate having been downsized by the Germans, out of the clear blue, back in early 2007.

Been talking more with trainer Sam, both on the personal front for him & the training front for me. Poor dude is going through hell at home, I’d say 4 days a week. I REALLY have to hope the make up sex is AMAZING as it seems they’re ready to tear each other’s hearts out at least a couple times weekly but then keep patching things back up & he just doesn’t know which way to jump these days to which I can somewhat relate. On the training front he seems to think maybe I’m not quite ready, conditioning wise, for the hard focus 4 day resistance 2 day core & cardio split we’d worked out as after 6 weeks all I can really identify for it is a substantial increase in joint pain LOL! The scale AND the measurements are still basically stalled & I KNOW it’s mostly diet as the effort has been sincere on the iron so for the next few weeks I’m making increasingly serious efforts to tighten up the diet even further & switching to M, W, F core & HIIT cardio, then LBWO on Tues & UBWO on Thurs to see if I can get this train wreck moving again. The side job certainly isn’t helping fitness progress any as I end up breaking for dinner around 7PM then usually work on til 9-10, come home, usually snag a tablespoon of natty peanut butter & a cup of 1% milk, crash for a few hours, hit Helga’s by 6AM & start it all over.

On the personal swirl front I’m nearly as up in the air as Sam right now but without the fighting. No matter how dead things ever got between JRs mom & I we never really fought, I often think it would’ve actually been better if we would have. At least then we’d have gotten it all out on the table but ANYHOW, she keeps talking & acting like she wants to patch things up, make changes & make amends but then once in a while she lets her old stripes show, making some off the cuff comment, pulling some totally familiar stunt or voicing desire for some totally worthless but expensive trinket that makes me doubt there’s really any sincere inner change taking place but rather just a fear of being alone as she continues to go through her various physical / medical issues. Fear that she’s gonna end up a train wreck like her dad but not have anyone to take care of her like her mom always has for her dad.

After all of those years living numb then realizing what life & love can be like, no SHOULD be like, I just can’t stand the thoughts of going back to numb but also just CAN NOT handle the roller coaster things have been this year either so, like I said, I’m JUST about as bad as Sam LOL!

Rock on pals!!! Some time zones are already over the hump & it’s rapidly approaching Memphis so let’s all; work hard, train hard, play hard & love deeply!!! I’m still averaging about a 3 outta 4 most days but dammit! One of these days that 4 is gonna light up the scoreboard again somehow!!!

Tales From the Dark Side OR A Glimpse Over the Cliff’s Edge

So as I Blogged of last Friday AM, things just clicked in my world late Thursday afternoon & it felt SOOO great! There was a smile on my soul nearly forgotten as of late.

Now I talk about Murphy a lot & a couple pals even dog me about it. Now don’t get me wrong! I don’t believe there’s some literal Irish demon that follows us around, making life miserable, well not exactly. Murphy has just become my expression of angst, how I refer to the way luck runs in my world these days. Many don’t believe in luck either, believing rather you make your own. I’m kind middle ground on this one. I firmly believe we each have a MUCH greater impact on our lives through outlook & attitude than we can possibly comprehend at any given moment BUT I also believe in luck, or karma, or whatever you want to call it. That’s at least partly why I’ve always tried to help my fellow man whenever I can. I believe what comes around goes around so whenever I can lend someone a hand I do, partly because it makes me feel really good to help someone in need but also hoping that the day I hit rock bottom the scales of the cosmos might remember that sentiment & return the favor.

What I have noticed, both in my life as well as the lives of those I have at least a reasonable insight into is that what I refer to as Murphy just can’t stand to see those scales lean your way or mine these days, he just can’t stand seeing a smiling soul!!! Nearly every time I hear or see somebody enjoying a moment of success, victory, or joy I begin to get a little nervous, wondering when & where the crash is gonna come from? Now I realize that very same negativity can VERY easily become a self fulfilling prophecy so I do REALLY try to keep it low key but events of this year have made it nearly impossible to avoid entirely.

I’ve also mentioned previously having taken the side job partly, if not mostly, to occupy most if not all of my spare time so I can’t spend SOOO much time dwelling on what’s transpired as, here’s Murphy again, that newsreel leans WAY to the negative side as of late. Anyone who’s ever been in management, or anyone who has ever even taken management courses knows when you need to discipline an employee or have bad news to share with your folks you have to turn it into a shiz sandwich, finding something good to slip it in the middle of to somewhat soften the blow & make it more palatable.

Well, Murphy directed, edited & produced my mental newsreel utilizing just the opposite methodology by slipping in just enough happy memories between the shiz to keep you watching the mental train wreck passing by while he sharpens the edge of the next failure to remind you of, making you wonder what went SOOO wrong or even why, not to mention eventually wondering why to even bother trying at all.

I’ve also mentioned that for some reason Sundays always seem to be my worst days for getting down & yesterday I finally figured that pattern out & it’s twofold. First of all, the latest personal failure began late one fateful Saturday evening, culminating throughout the next day SOOO Sundays have a stigma I just haven’t been able to shed. It’s like the anniversary of a loved one’s passing, whenever it comes around it hurts all over again, kind of like Valentine’s day for me…the anniversary of loosing both my mom in ’84 & also somehow totaling the happiness I had found with Sugar Bear this year.

The other side to this double edged blade comes in the fact that even working 8-12 hours on Saturdays & Sundays at the side job, they normally try to save any higher quantity runs for the weekends when I have time to see them through completely myself. During the week I’m only there 3-6 hours a night, after flying my desk job all day, so we focus on the short run orders with just a few pieces whenever possible as the majority of the parts I’ve been working on lately are just too complex to utilize for training the new guys so come the weekends, where I’ve got the longer days to give’em, I end up with the longer running, higher quantity orders so once I get the programming done & machining processes optimized I end up with 5 to 20 minutes cycle times across multiple parts, often yielding that evil idle time on my hands…once again…so here comes Murphy queuing up the newsreel & I can practically feel my soul deflating as the day goes by. I often chat with pals in FB to try & occupy my mind but let’s face it! Most of them have lives LOL! So the movie plays on. I’ve got several pals telling me the same advice over & over. Telling me I have to find my own inner motivation, figure out goals to set or things to do with / by / for myself that generate those soul smiles but that’s just not how I was raised, not how I’m wired. My soul pretty much only smiles when those I care about are happy & especially when I’ve had at least a shred of something to do with that happiness SOOO the newsreel plays on.

Now I see all of this as a good news, bad news sort of deal. At least I’ve recognized this pattern which I see as good news since you can’t fix something that’s broken if you don’t know how or why it’s broken (that’s an ENTIRE newsreel film all it’s own) so recognizing this pattern or problem at least gives the opportunity to address it BUT the bad news is that fixing it involves a re-wiring of my soul which has been a lifetime getting set in it’s ways already. The short term patch is to try & find better ways to occupy my time & mind on weekends, Sundays especially, to keep from letting Murphy run rampant in my psyche but that’s barely a longer term fix than the alcohol which I’ve recently kicked back to the curb as a bad crutch, not to mention a derailleur of my fitness goals as well.

This entire newsreel deal is the cliff’s edge, or dark side, today’s title referred to.  As the film played on all day yesterday I SUDDENLY realized that I’m sliding back into that same dead rut I rode in for 10-15 out of 25 years previously.

JRs mom keeps saying she wants to talk things over & make amends but keeps slipping up, saying old familiar crap & pulling the same old stunts now & then, killing any faith I have in the sincerity of any change she speaks of but I also realized that I’m finding myself & my heart slowly becoming calloused to the numbness once again. Slowly forgetting the absolute “joy that was” due to the pain that has followed, beginning to entertain the thoughts of just surviving, getting by, as once again being the way it’s apparently supposed to go & that, my friends, just sucks BUT having somehow crashed that previously mentioned joy, & not even knowing how, makes any hope of anything "better than numb" a VERY distant dream since I’m apparently 2 for 2, pretty much doing the same thing again only this time it was in a matter of months rather than years so the problem I face is…what’s the point of ever trying again? Yes the shared joy was indescribably wonderful but the lows have also been unspeakably saddening so I have to figure out…is numb really that bad? I know it completely & totally sucks compared to the shared joy but conversely…well y'all know how that reel of the film plays out.

Several pals have independently & repeatedly given me the EXACT same advice, saying I absolutely need to just REBOOT; to shut down, making an absolute clean break from everything & everyone involved & try again as if my life is some sick laptop that needs restarted but knowing, as Einstein so eloquently put it, that doing the same thing repeatedly but expecting different results is simply "insanity defined" makes that course of action seem basically hopeless so I just keep trudging on, hoping someday I’ll see some glimmer of hope I can zero in on & begin again to figure out how to keep Friday’s smile on my soul for more than a mere few hours.

Clash of the Titans OR As The Fur Flies!!!

Happy Friday gang!!! Had my typical Thursday meeting marathon with a couple extra thrown in for good measure. While driving to the side job last night got some bad news on the commutermobile. It seems the initial $419.50 didn’t go deep enough into the bowels of the AC & to get it fixed is now actually going to cost another $414 just in parts so guess Griz is gonna keep driving hot a while longer GRRR!!! Shortly thereafter though had a great phone call with a dear friend that just made my day! Have you ever just chatted with someone & hearing happy in their voice just melts your aggravation away?!?!? Unbelievably awesome!!!

Got to the side job & worked LATE on some parts designed by some buffoon who’s OBVIOUSLY never made or even worked on anything beyond the world of theory & CAD! It should be against the law to let educated idiots design anything that they have NO IDEA how to produce! Unreal!!! This instrument has 28 components, many moving, and given it’s range of motion & the leverage involved with the design it will fail during its first use, no doubt! They’ve done the math, ran the numbers, done the CAD finite element & stress analysis stating it’s good to go so we’re building them a pair to print then when it breaks, and it WILL!, we’ll offer to make one the same only different that works & they’ll end up paying for the parts twice AND the design consulting fee rather than just listening up front for free & buying the first set that work & last! We’re SOOO sure it’ll fail we’re making 4 of each component that will work but only their ordered 2 of the bad parts LOL! Got home, cleaned up & crashed for 5 hours. Awoke REALLY slowly, dragging tail for the first 30 minutes.

Downed my morning lean protein (2 hard boiled eggs) & a Monster Rehab low carb lemon energy tea on my way out the door then downed a quart of XTend drink on the way to the gym for leg day, usually my favorite which also helped “kick” things off! That’s when Griz collided with Helga in her house of pain & the fur started flying!!!

Got my locker situated then mounted an upright lifecycle for a 60 calorie HIIT warm up cardio session then hit the iron arena for the following leg work:

Calf / Ankle press, 500 LBs for 9 reps then 11 more, then 13 more wrapping up with a final 7

Incline leg press sled, 500 LBs for 9+11+13+7

Seated leg curls, 150 LBs for 9+11+13+7

Standing glute kickbacks, 150 LBs for 24 left leg, 24 right leg, 16 left leg, 16 right leg

Hobbled over to the dreadmill for 100 calorie HIIT hill climb / stretch fest

Standing glute kickbacks, 150 LBs for 24 left leg, 24 right leg, 16 left leg, 16 right leg

Seated leg curls, 150 LBs for 9+11+13+7

Incline leg press sled, 500 LBs for 9+11+13+7

Calf / Ankle press, 500 LBs for 9 reps then 11 more, then 13 more wrapping up with a final 7

Gimped back over to the Lifecycle for a final 60 calorie cool down dropping from 90% maximum recommended pulse rate back to 75%

Man the pump was good! Legs & lungs where on fire & the sweat was ROLLING! Grabbed a quick hot shower followed by a nearly ice cold rinse, changed & headed for the day job.

Hit the road in THE VERY BEST mood I’ve experienced in weeks, if not months! The enjoyable phone call from last night followed by an AWESOME leg fest where everything just felt RIGHT for once set this Friday off in the stratosphere!!!

I’ve got a shoulder follow up with the orthodoc this afternoon so taking a half day at the day job & by golly I’m taking the night off from the side job too, grabbing dinner & a movie somewhere. I’m thinking Genghis Grille, a Mongolian hibachi affair where you pick your poison; meats, veggies, spices, sauces & starch, then they fix it on a giant circular flattop manned by about 6 or 8 cooks each having their triangular slice of the grill! It’s coo!!!! Probably going to check out the final Harry Potter flick tonight too. I hadn’t seen any of’em until I think the 4^th one came out then I borrowed the DVDs from a pal to catch up & have enjoyed them as a decent “escape from reality” kind of experience ever since. When I was in Jr High School I’d read all of J.R.R. Tolkien’s works & loved the Lord of the Rings series of movies when they came out, even though they’re each horribly long, so Harry Potter isn’t a horrendous stretch. I remember when the Harry Potter flicks first came out there was such a big stink about Wicken & leading kids to Satanism, witchcraft & sorcery but I’m sorry, if you’re SOOO weak minded that you can’t enjoy a fiction fantasy flick without getting all twisted about it you probably better just stay home & for heaven’s sake NEVER turn on a TV or play a video game then either!!!

Rock on pals! I’m hoping to nurse this excellent attitude as long as possible even though there’s a MEAN thunderstorm raging outside & I have another meet up with Doc Ming & his Magic Needles first AM tomorrow I’m thinking there’s hope for a SOLID weekend, side job work & all LOL!

The Five Year Plan

You hear folks speak of it all the time. Business people, bankers, investors, etc. You also hear regular folks like us talking about them, especially if they’re raising kids & trying to overcome the microwave / instant gratification attitude of today’s society, trying to get their kids to think about life & what they want to be when they grow up.

As for me…I’ve had several 5 year plans, let’s face it I’m kinda old LOL! The first official one I put on paper was about the time my first born entered the world, I was 21. OH, it was grand! Work full time & get off the CNC machines into CNC programming, acquire my Associate’s degree (yeah, I know. Kinda had things outta order early on), buy a house, ride my motorcycle all over the country, lead my family to prosperity & happiness, obviously I’m paraphrasing!

Second five year plan; finish my Associate’s degree (man it’s a pain finding classes that fit around working full time), raise my 2 boys who were then 5 & 3 ½, get out of CNC programming into engineering or production management, take an awesome vacation somewhere in the family sedan since I had to sell my motorcycle because the wife was afraid to risk raising our boys alone, buy a real house not a trailer, lead my family to prosperity & happiness.

Whew, what a haul! My third 5 year plan; acquire my Bachelor’s degree while working full time, get out of engineering into engineering management, help my sons develop healthy interests, buy a real house (man this trailer’s too small) keep my kids from killing each other, keep my hair but lose this lousy belly I’m acquiring!

My fourth 5 year plan; acquire my Master’s degree while working fulltime, quit working 60-80 hours a week & get away from manufacturing production & its politics, build a new house in the country (WTH did I buy this dinky house in town with 2 boys?!?!?), having been an only child figure out why my kids can’t even leave each other alone let alone get along, help run the county’s 4H Shooting Sports program teaching everybody’s kids firearm safety & a love of the outdoors, help run the Northern Indiana conservation camp for kids furthering their love of the outdoors safely, charter & chair the county’s FNRA banquet (think Ducks Unlimited for firearm safety), teach NRA handgun & personal protection courses as well as teach & certify other qualified / interested parties to do the same, remember who I married & figure out when the aliens swapped in this different copy & finally, once & for all, figure out why this 5 year plan deal just doesn’t work!

My fifth 5 year plan; buy another motorcycle now that the kids are grown & survive to retirement somehow, somewhere!

Well guess what! My oldest turned 25 the end of this March. Guess what that means?!?!? Time for a new 5 year plan but for any of you who’ve followed Griz’s adventures already know…March was NO time for planning ANYTHING. It was a time of figuring out WTH all has gone wrong, how & eventually why! Still not exactly sure what I want to be when I grow up (actually not even sure I want to grow up anymore LOL). I finally have my Master’s degree & a decent paying day job (that I hate since being reassigned) flying a desk no & longer directly involved with manufacturing but rather in sourcing engineering & supplier quality all while working a side job 30-40+ hours nights & weekends back running CNC machines realizing how much I’ve missed the hands on “making things”, gave up figuring out that whole alien thing, pretty much lost the fire for teaching firearms courses to anybody, leasing a house, bought & sold a cool motorcycle in 2009 since half of Memphians are basically morons behind the wheel, basically hating life most of the time, still trying to shed this mid life surplus body I’ve acquired over the years, cut my hair short enough it almost doesn’t need to fall out anymore mostly due to the machine oil I work with, uhmmmmm…guess this is what I’ve always heard called mid life crisis LOL!

But there is still a shred of hope. I’m haggling with the night job owners trying to slide into a director’s role there that will still allow me to work on the machines while managing production & teaching new guys while hopefully getting back down to 60ish hours a week maybe, still really want another motorcycle someday but one set up to really travel getting away from Memphis every chance I get, but for now I’m putting this entire 5 year plan deal on hold. The way I’ve been going the past few months I’m doing good to develop & execute an effective 5 day plan so just focusing on getting through each week, trying to figure out when, where & why everything all went to shiz, THEN maybe I can begin to focus on an effective new plan but there’s no use worrying about that for now. Not until I can figure out how & why I always manage to screw’em up!

For now I just have to realize life happens & just go with the flow. There is one thing I do know though!!! I need a freaking break! Been planning to attend a beach fest in Florida with some crazy online friends in October & also considering getting the heck away from everything for the week from Christmas til new Years on a cruise but I can tell the way everything’s been grating on that last raw nerve lately that October is entirely too far away! Considering both jobs, July 3^rd was the only full day off (working neither job) in 3 or 4 months as I was even machining parts at the side job July 4^th. Labor Day is coming soon & September is even one of those cool extra payday months so something’s gotta give. Griz needs a break of some sort, some place, before I end up tearing some poor unsuspecting soul’s head off for finally snapping that last raw nerve!

I have at least recently developed a new slogan / motto that I’m trying to live each day by, one which I hope goes on my headstone someday. Work hard, train hard, play hard & love deeply! Most days I manage to hover somewhere a little over 3 outta 4, just not always the same 3 LOL! Not too bad considering…

Rock on pals!

YEP! I’ve decided!!!

Happy Monday gang, WAIT!!! Mondays blow! Happy August!!! I decided to head downtown for a break Friday night & had a great time! Won a couple CDs & a couple free frozen drinks playing “Name that tune” with the Eric Hughes band at Wet Willies after having been a good boy & passing on the Mai Tai at BB Kings with my grilled salmon & shrimp dinner while enjoying the Will Tucker Band. Eric Hughes is just a good ol’boy who LOVES the blues. Dude plays a wide array of music & instruments & the rest of his band has as much fun watching him carry on as the crowd! Will Tucker is also an amazing performer. This kid is only 17 years old but MAN can he sing & play a guitar like CRAZY! What’s funny is that being a minor, his dad has to come to the shows with him so he can even get in LOL! Stopped in at Rum Boogie Café nearing Midnight for an unsweetened iced tea & a few songs from Patrick Dodd on the way back to the parking garage. Check him out on YouTube! He isn’t blind but watching him perform you would almost think he is as he gets into the music SOOO deeply that his facial expressions & mannerisms lead you to believe he looses himself totally in the music but his performances are amazing!

Anyhow, visitied Doc Ming & his magic acupuncture needles first AM Saturday again & when he hooked up the electro stimulator he flipped a switch wrong & I SWEAR he was trying to electrocute me!!! Afterwards grabbed a quick bite of brunch, headed to the side job & worked way later than expected machining some extremely difficult surgical instruments needed by mid week. Sunday is normally one of two leg days weekly but given the need for those instruments I headed straight for the shop & spent all day finishing them up then celebrated on the way home with one last Megarita at MiPueblo’s with some grilled chicken, brown rice & queso cheese. I had been avoiding alcohol nearly altogether since early 2007 but the personal swirl & lack of sleep early of this year has found me partaking about once a week just to tranquilize the Griz’s brain into at least one long hard night’s sleep & occasionally it’s been a couple times in a week depending on the events & stress level of the week.

Well, revisiting everything fitness related, trying to get progress back underway, especially given the October 7^th BodyBuilding.com Panama City Beachfest goal, Sunday’s Megarita was a farewell to alcohol once again until PCB in hopes of reigniting the furnace. I realize “All things in moderation” are supposedly fine (all things legal anyhow) & the alcohol itself isn’t REALLY all that bad but since Griz doesn’t like anything bitter or sour, the flavors required to go along with the alcohol usually involve WAY too much sugar especially in the PM so for now it’s just better to use the “Just Say NO!” attitude for a couple months as a tool towards progress. Also, per trainer Sam, Doc Ming, Marine & others, I’m focusing in on sugars & simple carbs, especially past Noon, as being evil derailleurs of progress. It’s been one of those deals where, yeah, I know they’re bad but just a little here & there’s okay…WRONG! As Al has been saying for months, diet is 80%+ of the progress & as Marine has said 100+ times, you simply can’t out train a bad diet so time to focus additional intensity there.

Just picked up my XTEND drink supplement this weekend & have begun replacing daytime fluid intake with that, working towards 1 gallon per day BUT I have to admit their dosing seems NUTS! I ordered the “New Formula” so I’m not sure how it compares with the original but they say 1 scoop (smallish scoop) per 8 Oz of water but 2 scoops is PLENTY (flavor wise) for 32 OZs so I’ve settled on 10 scoops per gallon instead of the recommended 16 & we’ll see how it goes. I downed 32 OZs of GRAPE with my 2 boiled eggs this early AM (loved the flavor) 30 minutes prior to 240 HIIT cardio calories wrapped around 72,600 LBs of core iron, then had 26 OZ of Dymatize Elite XT protein immediately following. Working on my 2^nd quart of XTEND now (Blue Raspberry which is GOOD!) & getting ready for some baked chicken & brown rice in a few followed by some SPICY ground sirloin jambalaya & quart #3 (Watermelon, yet untasted) mid afternoon then 6 OZs of tuna & drained Rotel with the 4^th quart early evening (Grape again) at the side job by 7PM.

Since receiving the great feedback about ZMA naturally aiding in sleep & seeing the Isatori IsaTest I’ve been taking across the day has it, I’ve been taking all 4 caps about 30 minutes pre-snooze time instead & I must say it seems to be improving the quality of sleep & even to some extent the quantity seems improved as well but I’m crediting that part to the SLOW process of nailing a lid on the personal swirl that’s been driving me nucking futs most of this year.

Have to admit that’s all still FAR from in the past but at least I don’t hear the train whistle EVERY time I see a light at the end of the tunnel these days…just once in a while LOL! I had been focusing on burning through the summer, with PCB as a break then shooting for a cruise from Christmas until New Years (both of which still may occur) but this weekend, I’VE DECIDED!!! Griz needs a break!!! Something, somewhere, sometime this summer, sooner rather than later. There’s an AWESOME blues & rock event over in the Ozarks, in conjunction with the 2^nd largest motorcycle rally in the U.S. (2^nd only to Sturgis in sheer numbers) & an awesome hot rod show but it turns out this year they’ve moved that to an end of summer festival THE weekend before PCB so that won’t work. Gotta find something sooner, maybe Labor dayish, somewhere within reasonable driving distance from Memphis to just get away, even if just for a long weekend, so Google is gonna be my new best friend for a couple days unless y’all know of something! Anything involving rock or blues, motorcycles or hot rods, fresh air, whatever! I’m open for suggestions! Meanwhile, rock on pals!!! Summertime’s slipping away; make sure to grab a slice of life before it passes by!