PULLING THROUGH…

Okay, so last night I did my good deed for the week! JRs girlfriend recently graduated cosmetology school & passed her state board exam so now she’s interviewing at area salons hoping to acquire gainful employ to payoff her school debt. There’s a place just a couple doors down the strip mall from Helga’s House of Pain that she’d really like to get into as they have great hours, the manager enjoys teaching new stylists her skills & apparently it doesn’t pay too bad for a beginner either BUT here was the catch; before receiving a job offer from them part of the interview was to arrange & cut first a ladies hair then a guys. Now you’d think JR would be the logical guinea pig here but he keeps his hair buzzed since he performs physical labor in a semi air conditioned factory all day SOOO dad “volunteered!” Now, let’s keep in mind that my hair is just now growing back from her “practice session” the weekend before her board exam so I wasn’t exactly thrilled but hey, she needed a victim & I was “nearing” the need for a trim LOL! All went pretty well so hopefully today she’ll get a happy phone call soon.

Afterwards I “buzzed” over to the side job & knocked out a couple parts then had a great phone call with a dear friend on the way home. Slept half ways decent; (2) 3 hour naps with odd dreams about my long since passed parents but nothing TOO bizarre, then cruised on into Helga’s House of Pain & cranked out 280 HIIT cardio calories, partly on the upright bike & partly on the hill climbing dreadmill with 83,600 LBs of core iron crunched, twisted & extended in the middle!

Showered, dressed, then battled the Memphis morning morons through a mean, nasty, wicked, thunderstorm to reach the day job. I’m still haggling with the side job owners as they really want me to take over operations full time there BUT with all the capital investments they’ve made on new equipment lately they’re just biding some time, trying to make sure at least a couple of these new customers pan out so the cash flow remains safely adequate to absorb the hit I’d represent which is logic I can appreciate having been downsized by the Germans, out of the clear blue, back in early 2007.

Been talking more with trainer Sam, both on the personal front for him & the training front for me. Poor dude is going through hell at home, I’d say 4 days a week. I REALLY have to hope the make up sex is AMAZING as it seems they’re ready to tear each other’s hearts out at least a couple times weekly but then keep patching things back up & he just doesn’t know which way to jump these days to which I can somewhat relate. On the training front he seems to think maybe I’m not quite ready, conditioning wise, for the hard focus 4 day resistance 2 day core & cardio split we’d worked out as after 6 weeks all I can really identify for it is a substantial increase in joint pain LOL! The scale AND the measurements are still basically stalled & I KNOW it’s mostly diet as the effort has been sincere on the iron so for the next few weeks I’m making increasingly serious efforts to tighten up the diet even further & switching to M, W, F core & HIIT cardio, then LBWO on Tues & UBWO on Thurs to see if I can get this train wreck moving again. The side job certainly isn’t helping fitness progress any as I end up breaking for dinner around 7PM then usually work on til 9-10, come home, usually snag a tablespoon of natty peanut butter & a cup of 1% milk, crash for a few hours, hit Helga’s by 6AM & start it all over.

On the personal swirl front I’m nearly as up in the air as Sam right now but without the fighting. No matter how dead things ever got between JRs mom & I we never really fought, I often think it would’ve actually been better if we would have. At least then we’d have gotten it all out on the table but ANYHOW, she keeps talking & acting like she wants to patch things up, make changes & make amends but then once in a while she lets her old stripes show, making some off the cuff comment, pulling some totally familiar stunt or voicing desire for some totally worthless but expensive trinket that makes me doubt there’s really any sincere inner change taking place but rather just a fear of being alone as she continues to go through her various physical / medical issues. Fear that she’s gonna end up a train wreck like her dad but not have anyone to take care of her like her mom always has for her dad.

After all of those years living numb then realizing what life & love can be like, no SHOULD be like, I just can’t stand the thoughts of going back to numb but also just CAN NOT handle the roller coaster things have been this year either so, like I said, I’m JUST about as bad as Sam LOL!

Rock on pals!!! Some time zones are already over the hump & it’s rapidly approaching Memphis so let’s all; work hard, train hard, play hard & love deeply!!! I’m still averaging about a 3 outta 4 most days but dammit! One of these days that 4 is gonna light up the scoreboard again somehow!!!