Of Friendship, Patience, Courage & Hollow Points

Of Friendship, Patience, Courage & Hollow Points

OMG, what an evening at the side job. I've always said God has a plan & that everything happens for a reason & last night both tested & proved that for me as I believe I was EXACTLY who & where God intended for me to be & I'll NEVER doubt the strength & courage God will provide when you're willing to step up.

Clocked in & everyone was on pins & needles which is totally out of character for this bunch. Finally the bookkeeper lady came over to bring me up to speed on events of the day. One of MMS’ 4 primary owners had been screaming on his cell phone with his soon to be ex-wife most of the afternoon. They’ve been separated about 3 months & prepping for a divorce battle, which in MS is truly just that…a battle. In MS if EITHER party contests the divorce it can last months in court & cost into 6 figures just in legal & attorney fees but since the shop is technically carrying $2.5 million in capital debt these days she’s gotten past contesting anything. He’s been married to this gal for 16 years & she brought 2 little kids with her into the marriage. The daughter, now 20, has been a constant catalyst in the events leading up to the divorce, constantly pitting her mom against my pal & both of them against her biological dad who’s had next to nothing to do with her most of her life except when she’d stir things up, often with lies. Now at age 20, she’s got 2 little babies of her own from a boyfriend who wants nothing to do with her, outside of the bedroom, so my pal has been basically her dad & her baby’s dad too, the oldest being 18 months old. Drama queen step daughter yesterday threw some sort of tantrum with her mother severe enough that her mom was in the process of throwing her out of the house, babies & all, so while in her bedroom packing she decided to stir things up & posted on her Facebook wall some sort of garbage either about her biological dad or the baby daddy, not exactly sure, having in some manner molested her 18 month old baby causing all of this ruckus, totally unproven & supposedly completely unfounded. Well, news of this post somehow reached my pal who proceeded to call his soon to be ex to find out WTH was going on & things just escalated from there until the daughter locked herself in her room & OD’d on her mom’s nerve meds bringing, the sheriffs & EMTs followed shortly by Department of Health folks to remove the babies from the home since in MS grandparents have zero rights unless the parent gives up custody through formal adoption. Now pal knows drama queen’s patterns but still believes enough of the posting to have it in his mind that if nothing else one of those men has caused this entire mess & he’s decided it’s up to him to put a stop to this once & for all.

For years up North I taught hunter & firearms safety courses, tactical personal protection courses & concealed carry courses but last night was the first time I’ve ever faced a firearm first hand & unarmed no less, but in this case that was a good thing. I knew my pal was being controlled by rage & years of frustration but through the streaming tears of his pain & rage I could see the love of a dad & grandpa desperately seeking a solution & I just stood my ground, noticing the very distinctly recognizable serrated brass jackets of Remington’s .357 Magnum Golden Saber hollow points staring back at me. We spoke for what seemed an eternity of those babies not asking for any of this & eventually it boiled down to the divorce & horrible upbringing he’d endured as a child & the fact that he wasn’t standing by, watching his grandbabies go through it too. I was eventually able to get him to see the long term, which if this course of action continued  he would most likely never see those grandbabies again & if he did it’d either be through prison bars or visitation glass if ever at all.

That long barreled revolver is now safely locked in the bottom drawer of my tool box for safe keeping & the drama queen appears to be physically okay as they got her stomach pumped in time but the emotional scars of yesterday will last many people a lifetime.

If you’ve followed Griz’s roller coaster tale of the past year you know I’ve experienced many of my most euphoric moments of pure happiness in my life as well as a few of its darkest moments of emotional despair but last evening has added an entirely new perspective that things in fact could be MUCH worse in my life & have REALLY given me an entirely new & increased appreciation for all the good things I’ve experienced, many of which flashed through my mind last evening & continued to replay during a mostly sleepless night.

Still managed to hit Helga’s for a round of back, shoulders & biceps this AM leading into my typical Thursday marathon of day job meetings but one thing I can promise anyone who cares…life is WAY too short to live miserable & one way or another I intend to find a path to happiness REGARDLESS of where it leads.

Sweating Like A Young Bull In The Castration Line Today!

HAPPY HUMPDAY!~!~!

Ended up working later than usual last night at the side job on yet another order of these crazy laboratory grade surgical instruments. These things have tolerances on them so tight they are nearly impossible to produce consistently within specification. The tolerance we are given is measured in microns which is basically taking 1 inch, dividing it into exactly 1 million even parts then you are allowed to use 39 of those 1 million parts, thicker or thinner than perfect, on a really nasty grade of stainless steel OH, BTW once they’re machined they must be heat treated then electro polished to remove the heat treat impurities & end up within tolerance! I REALLY want some of what these guys are smoking down in Houston that came up with this requirement!!! Good news is that we’ve got a couple really good machines to make’em on & the only visual inspection gauge that’s calibrated & validated within a 3 state area to measure them so it’s not like we’ve got a lot of competitors trying to eat our lunch on these parts LOL!

Got home & unwound into a nice 5 hour nap filled with goofy, actually almost entertaining, dreams last night. Oh! BTW, thanks for the heads up on the ZMA Marine! Turns out the Isatori IsaTest I began utilizing about a month ago already carries a full load on board so given your recommendation about ZMA aiding ZZZs I’ve stopped spreading the 4 caps across the day, downing them all as soon as I walk in the door at night so they can kick in by rack time & it seems to be working, along with 15Mg of Melatonin that is! Isatori talks about splitting the load, but only address PM workouts, so when I emailed them about AM workouts & dose timing their reply was basically whatever works for you, go for it! Not the most confidence inspiring customer service event in memory but fairly typical.

Arose this AM knowing it was gonna be a killer high rep, bone burning, leg day so downed the lean protein & since my Xtend won’t arrive until tomorrow chugged a 16OZ low sugar Monster Rehab energy drink for a swift kick in the starter, washing down the boiled eggs on my way out the door. Saw an AWESOME morning sky JUST coming ablaze & had to stop & shoot a picture then mounted the commuermobile & off we went!

Hit Helga’s House of Pain, spent 7 minutes pedaling an upright bike set on its fat burning program, getting the blood flowing & starting the HIIT cycle. Next on the hit parade was calf press performed on the incline leg press station. Stretched out my lacking Achilles tendons, set the palte stack, buried my heels in the platen, came to full stroke, repositioned my feet so just my toes & the balls of my feet caught the diamond plate & cranked out 20 calf stroking ankle stretching reps then stopping at the bottom with the ankles in FULL stretch for 20 seconds, cranked out another 20 Reps again stopping at full stretch for another 20 then lowered clear back down for dismount. Luckily the steel tube frame work of this rig makes for a nice assist grab on exit or I’d have to roll off on the floor after that set LOL! Stetch out the legs, grab my spreadsheet, check off the set, chug some water & stride over to the leg curl station. Set the plate stack, the seat & leg pad positions, mount & crank out 20, rest for 20, crank out 20 more, dismount, bend over & stretch! Hmmm, is it getting dark in here? I’ve heard of the bed spins but gym spins…okay, time to stop stretching bent over LOL! Grab my water bottle & chug, check off the set & stroll, okay hobble, over to the Dreadmill for a 7 minute journey across it’s fat burning program’s hill climb event & have it tell me I’ve already attained the appropriate cardio heart rate for my age upon starting, do I wish to slow the pace? NO! Rock on! Added another 20 beats per minute to the pulse by the end of 7 minutes then repeated calves, leg curls, then wrapped it all up with a 2^nd 7 minutes on the bike, bringing it all home after 45 minutes total & 320 HIIT cardio calories all wrapped around 84,400 LBs of Helga’s iron, sweating like a young bull in the castration line!

Heading in to pre-flight the desk, clear diagonally across the Memphis metro, Elvis kicked in with “Burnin’ Love” on the morning radio & I couldn’t help laughing, thinking how my temp had been rising & chest was heaving this morning too but for me it wasn’t courtesy of some passionate hottie but was instead all courtesy of my iron mistress, Helga LMAO!!!

BTW, In case I’ve not explained why I call our local ATC gym Helga’s House of Pain, it’s a reference to Rock Hound’s comment to the NASA gal as she’s strapping him into the space shuttle just prior to launch in the Bruce Willis flick Armageddon but it just seems SOOO appropriate when comparing ATC & it’s array of equipment with the workplace country club gym I’d been attending over the past year.

Rock on pals!

Burnin' Love

POSTSCRIPT...Life, Chapter 13 "Work Hard, Train Hard, Play Hard & Love Deeply!"

Happy Tuesday! HERE COMES HUMP DAY!!!

Hoping to be getting back to a more consistent rhythm in life here shortly but time’ll tell. Backing away from Facebook for a bit, (for those of you who’ve been pulling double duty with the Griz) trying to simplify life some & trim the personal swirl generation issues outta my life, FB being one of the worst. I believe I'm finally coming to grips on a middle grounds as friends with Sugar bear as she is a great person & an amazing lady who I can't imagine loosing touch with. That WOULD drive me crazy, wondering how she was doing LOL!

ANYHOW! Hit Helga’s House of Pain early AM Sunday for a quad & glute blowout then did chest, shoulders & TRIs yesterday followed by an intense core grind enveloped by varied exercise HIIT cardio sessions before, mid & after today!

I’m taking this week, per trainer Sam’s advice & running all high rep, lower weights, after last week’s PUSH challenge grindfest. Still can’t believe I got beat by not 1 but 2 girls LOL!!! I don’t mind getting smoked by competitor Capital Jay but getting PUSHed aside by 1/3 of the gals competing is a beast of a blow to the ol’psyche LMBO! Time to step it up a notch or 13!!!

Tomorrow is supposed to be hammies & calves then back, shoulders & BIs Thursday & core / cardio once more to wrap up the 6 day training week. Things are still crazy on the work front too, 82 hours worth last week! The side job keeps growing & getting busier which is a good thing as I’m still haggling with’em, trying to make that my full time+ gig so I can stop commuting clear across the Memphis metro daily to fly a desk I’ve come to loathe. Once again, time’ll tell.

Trying to continue working on my patience as that’s proven to be a large part of my inability to handle the personal swirl, striving for resolution on issues more quickly than life allows.

Believe it or not, JRs mom has actually been striving to bridge the gap, chasm actually, that was created over the past 10 to 15 dead years of our marriage, is finally wanting to talk about all that went wrong & every now & then trying to throw a patch over a "convenient" hole here or there but that road is still L*O*N*G & full of many "inconvenient" holes. I do believe her recent false positive scare with breast cancer, along with her repeating degenerative disk spinal problems, have her finally realizing the material crap she’s always focused on isn’t nearly as important as maybe having someone to share it with after all but we still have LOTS of issues to work on that I really struggle seeing her tackling willingly but there’s that need for patience once again.

I fully expected to be celebrating July 4^th as a VERY different kind of Independence Day this year but when things fell apart, blew up actually, with Sugar Bear back in Feb I kind of lost all hope for that & then about a month ago when the docs thought JRs mom had bilateral breast lumps right as she was beginning treatment on her thoracic spinal degeneration she kinda freaked & woke up I guess. I was there for her already as moral support & she honestly does seem to want to try & make amends. I’ve just got nearly a decade & a half worth of cynicism to overcome. Tigers just don’t change their stripes easily so I’m taking it one battle at a time but trying to keep the iron as my consistent companion while perfecting & inducing the anal cranial inversion device & refocus on some sort of a future that isn’t pitch dark after all.

I guess the one thing February’s blow up with Sugar Bear taught me, if nothing else, is that no matter how damn hard you try, desire, dream or wish …one person can NOT hold up both ends of a relationship once it’s gone & that’s what I’d been doing for nearly 15 of 25 years with JRs mom but now I see it just doesn’t work, can’t work. Just like a near utter failure on bench press…if both sides aren’t pulling their load (okay PUSHing)...well…it’s not gonna be pretty & in relationships there just aren’t any spotters allowed so your soul is just gonna get crushed SOOO stretch, prepare & don’t bite off more than you can chew!

Rock on pals! Work hard, train hard, play hard & love deeply...that's what I want on my headstone...one day LOL!

Why Am I Talking To Myself??? Guess Mom Was Right! Griz, signing off…

When I was young, I was never little; my mom always teased my dad that talking to himself was the first sign of insanity. Guess she was right! Funny thing is, in this generation they say it’s good for you as long as you do it online & call it a Blog! It’s supposed to be soul cleansing!!!

I’ve recently been accused (diagnosed would be a better term) of having an incessant need to communicate, especially about problems. Now to me, the accused, this seems utterly insane! If there ARE problems…sticking our damn heads in the sand doesn’t fix anything…IT NEVER HAS! They just fester or get bigger / worse. But when I need to know what’s gone wrong, or want to discuss how to fix what’s wrong I’m either (A) ignored (which REALLY pisses me off) or (B) told it doesn’t matter & to let it go (which makes me crazier since I don’t KNOW what’s really wrong) or (C) told I’m over reacting, that it’s no big deal, stop trying so hard or over analyzing things. Yep! Mom was right! Apparently I’m nucking futs!

Now, “bear” with me on this one. Griz has been a machinist & engineer since 1985, analyzing designs for manufacturability, analyzing blueprints to develop machining & finishing processes, analyzing processes for productivity improvements, analyzing failure modes to improve efficiency & reduce scrap. This is what I do & how I’m wired & I primarily thank (and blame) my dad for it! NOW HOLD ON!!! I’m not going all Freudian on ya here! Dad was a maintenance tech, fixing everything from automation systems, sound systems & electronics in general to boiler systems & rewiring houses & buildings so I grew up being his gopher, watching him analyze problems & fix them. I also grew up under his stern demeanor that you’ll NEVER be a man unless you admit when you’re wrong & learn from your mistakes, especially when your mistakes cause another person hurt, pain, angst or anxiety so, again, this is why I am who I am & how I’m wired clear to my soul.

A couple weeks ago I Blogged (talked to myself online LOL!) about having had a painful realization that was hopefully going to lead to personal improvement on my part by allowing some closure on relationship failures of my recent past. Then this week I’ve mentioned how I spent some hours playing counselor (bartender without booze) to my new friend & occasional fitness trainer Sam. Now having revisited my personal demons (issues) while trying to help him realize we live in a world that seems to be run by Murphy’s Law & help him to know he’s NOT alone has really caused me to go through another round of personal introspection & that’s relit the fires that were recently, at least momentarily, put out. You see, when I discovered those recent painful realizations I was at what I would consider to be one of my deepest, darkest, saddest, lowest, personal moments in adult memory & I electronically shared the outcome of that realization across the miles with the one other person closest to the situation asking ONLY for confirmation that I had been understood, not expecting feedback on the decisions or realizations ONLY wishing to know my soul had been heard…crickets…about a week later, just in case the email got lost in the wire or lost amongst a hundred others, I resent it explaining why & just asking for simple confirmation that it had been read…again…crickets.

Am I crazy here? My soul hit personal bottom, seemed as such anyhow, & I bare my soul asking only to know I’ve been understood, not seeking discussion, agreement or anything further & the feedback is zero. A couple weeks later after my evening with Sam & following night on Insomnia Island I sent an IM, just kinda opening my heart one last time, & after a day or two with no response of any kind just happened to casually mention the message in a text conversation to which the reply was I’ll have to check, haven’t been in there for awhile…a couple days later now…again…crickets. Is my need, or simply desire, for feedback incessant? Apparently so, especially considering I’ve written these Blogs for months now which have generated all of 3 comments total from anyone other than myself (thanks to those who’ve commented). Guess mom was right…I must be nuts!

Rock on pals & have a GREAT weekend!!!

Your crazy Memphis pal Griz, signing off.

PUSHing to Recage Murphy’s Recently Re-Released Demons

So as we near the finish line on the Wicked / Hippie PUSH challenge, Dr. DOMs has found his way back into my life today, HARD! To set the stage; Tuesday evening, while running my machine at the side job, I grabbed a 25 LB bar of stainless steel stock & proceeded to perform 100 overhead presses every time I started another 10 minute part & by the 16th set I could “BEARLY” get’er done & driving home I was OHHH so glad yesterday was to be leg day!

Due to counseling trainer Sam Tuesday evening while PUSHing, regarding his personal swirl that sounded EVER so familiar, okay playing bartender without the booze more than counseling, Tuesday NIGHT turned into a re-visit of Insomnia Island due to reawakening recently caged demons as mentioned yesterday, but Griz being the thick skulled, bull headed bruin he is, went ahead and ground out 84K LBs of hammy & calf iron yesterday then last evening while again running 10ish minute parts I grabbed our digital remote readout package scale, placed the readout on the top of my machine, placed the scale base on the diagonal face of it & proceeded to measure the PUSH LBs of incline / leaning pushups with the balls of my feet as far back as possible while remaining on the safety mat I stand on. The readout ranged from 60 LBs at launch to 40 LBs coming back down so averaging that at 50 LBs & stroking out 25 reps for 20 sets, one set per part, managed to rack up an extra 25K last night towards the challenge & reminded the whiney shoulder it can still be done, low weight / high reps just like Ms Iron Talons demanded!!!

This morning when the clock radio ended my 5 hour nap I BEGAN to rise only to be greeted FIRMLY by Doc DOMs!!! OMG! My hams were tight as snare drums & my claves were drawn up tight, tugging my lacking Achilles tendons like a rope climber with his athletic supporter fully ablaze!

I grabbed my dresser & proceeded to stretch out the calves & ankles for a couple minutes then went on to bend forward trying to refind my toes, which for Griz is an event all its own LOL! Finally got the hammies stretched out and ankles motivating, dressed, choked down my 2 morning boiled eggs in a fiber enriched flatbread slathered with 2 tablespoons of natty peanut butter (think peanut butter & egg burrito) & washed it down with a cup of 1% milk, grabbed the gym bag & out the door I went!

Arriving at Helga’s House of Pain, I headed in for back, shoulders & biceps, again noticing trainer Sam’s absence. Poor dude is going through some shiz & it’s really playing hard on both his head & heart to which I can SOOO totally relate!

PUSHed 49,750 LBs of UBWO iron, hit the showers & headed (gingerly) out to the commutermobile. Had a nice phone call on the way into the day job where, like every Thursday, I hit the door with 4 hours of project / staff meetings already eating up half the day before anything else even adds on.

Tomorrow, wrapping up our PUSH challenge will be core iron & cardio so, provided I follow my plan, complete all the reps in all the sets on my spreadsheet, I should just break the HALF MILLION POUND mark for this week towards the final tally! Now, I know I’ve had bigger weeks in months past, before entering my recent personal flat spin & before restructuring my work to more closely focus each day on just a couple muscle groups, but this has been BY FAR the best week in recent memory for hitting the rack at the end of each day feeling like I’ve really PUSHed the envelope physically like I used to every day!

I’ve ALWAYS tried to do my best to “be there” for friends when they’ve needed an ear & don’t plan on changing that approach anytime soon BUT I have to admit sharing my struggles with trainer Sam while listening to his has really made this a tough week. I had recently mentioned painful psychological realizations leading to at least a type of personal closure, allowing me to stop torturing myself every waking moment about February’s relationship failure, but the past couple days have been a revisit to those wounds which obviously are no where NEAR healed, & unfortunately may never really be, but I guess this has been a good exercise since going forward this struggle isn’t likely to get ANY easier on its own so learning how to deal is mandatory, like it or not.

Rock on pals! One more day in the PUSH challenge & the rest of our lives to keep after it, whatever “IT” is for each of us!!!

Griz VS The Stressors of Life

So as I’d mentioned previously, I’ve been working with trainer Sam on a new program to take my fitness efforts to the next level. Sam got derailed a bit by the death in his extended family & didn’t make it into the gym yesterday morning. When he stopped by the shop last night he was all apologetic, explaining how he just hadn’t gotten back in the game from his recent loss & as we discussed life he unloaded all sorts of his personal swirl, everything from his recent loss to his failed first marriage on into what he’s worried are early warnings of similar problems with his present, 2^nd, wife. Dude is a cool guy, works his tail off traveling the western half of TN & the northern half of MS as a regional sales manager for an international company. Since his wife has a good job in Nashville he keeps his home in the far corner of his territory which in turn keeps him on the road 3-4 days weekly so that she can remain where she’s been, a compromise they’re willing to make which they’d agreed upon before marrying.

Well, years ago I went through my dad’s eventual losing battle with stomach then spinal cancer then just a few years later went through it again with my best friend of nearly 20 years as he battled & eventually succumbed to lung cancer so I feel his pain & stress of the recent loss. Now when we got into the marital / relationship stressors, again Griz has had his own battles & failures so again I can feel his pain so I guess where this all leads me to the stressors of life.

My dearly departed pal had a favorite expression for years, “With a life like mine, why prolong it?!?!?” He’d been married 4 times, two of the 4 to the same woman, but through all of that he only ever had 1 child, a daughter who played him against her mom every chance she saw an opportunity to get something she wanted, everything from designer jeans to high dollar sneakers to a car & eventually an Ivy League education both of her parents couldn’t really afford let alone either of them solo so now Sam & his 2^nd wife are having step child issues that have led to $ issues & relationship strife, more stressors of life.

JR’s mom & I had many issues over $, mostly her not understanding it doesn’t grow on trees & her lack of appreciation of what she had. We both grew up fairly poor & I’ve always worked my tail off to ensure we didn’t continue living that way & making sure our kids had all they needed as well as more of what they wanted than was probably wise, hindsight is amazing stuff. $ is often the root of much strife in life, no doubt, but the step child issue I can’t completely relate with, never actually making it clear into that situation. As Sugar Bear & I got to know each other it always amazed me the awesome relationship she had with her son & I always knew that in order for there ever to be an “us” it was a package deal but I never saw that as a problem. She’s been an awesome momma bear & I’d have strictly been there to try & help along the way had things worked out. Sam’s struggles bring me puzzlement since he has 2 Jr high age kids & his 2^nd wife has 2 kids just into college. The strife has come through the new wife getting bent that he doesn’t spend as much time or $ on “stuff” for her kids as he does on his, even though hers are basically grown & their tuition FAR outweighs everything he does with his younger ones. Also, since hers are off at school it’s tough for him to spend equal time with them but obviously from the outside looking in its tough to understand both sides of the problem.

ANYHOW, Sam just opened up his soul & this all just poured out including his admission that as of late he & Jack Daniels have become late night pals, otherwise he just can’t sleep due to the brain wracking he’s going through trying to figure out how to right himself in life. WOW! Can I relate to that or what?!?!? Well, not SOOO much the JD but the rest sure stuck home. So he mentioned that Monday night was the first really good night’s sleep he’d had in weeks, hoping I’d understand his absence yesterday! Of course relating SOOO well with THAT pain I slapped him on the back & told him to NEVER turn down a good night’s sleep for me so apparently he took me at my word as he was a no show again today.

I guess all that’s what put me back on Insomnia Island last night, pondering why life has to be such a stress loaded deal. Why things have to almost ALWAYS be an uphill battle, why EVERYTIME you think things are about to right themselves allowing at least a little relief from the stress, a little reward for the effort, a few moments of shared joy or passion even for the work on relationships, Murphy comes along & greases the skids with an entirely new hill to climb, battle to be fought, a new stressor to be overcome, GRRR!!!

I guess it should be of some comfort knowing I’m nowhere near the only one with these same issues but it’s not. Actually seems to have made it worse, makes it seem even less likely thing’s will ever work out as they should. When I arrived at the gym this AM I posted an old ELO song in Facebook, Telephone Line, that drifted across the nightstand last night starting this entire train of thought & I’ve come to realize that yeah, there are ALWAYS going to challenges to overcome, battles to be fought or avoided when possible, & relationship work to be done. The MOST important & hopeful thing I can think of, to have ANY hope of success, is the idea of facing those challenges shoulder to shoulder with a dearly loved one who has similar ideals & ideas of the meaning of success in life but then again, finding & hanging onto that dearly loved one turns out to be a battle & stressor all its own.

Rock on pals! Thank God at least it’s hump day!

Desperately Seeking Insights To A New Quandary!!!

Happy Tuesday gang! Got a quandary for ya’ll & if you’re also a FB pal sorry for the double dip! Recently I’ve gotten my head & heart realigned a LITTLE better & since taking on the side job, combined with some recent personal realizations, I’ve been sleeping 5-6 solid hours nightly rather than the 2-4 broken hours of the previous 4-5 months which SHOULD BE better but in the past week or so I’ve been having some pretty serious bouts with AM fatigue, actually dozing off at the wheel driving to work a couple mornings, within about an hour or so of finishing my morning iron grind.

Thinking back about anything else that’s changed recently the only real issues I can think of is following trainer Sam’s plan, having a little lean protein 30-60 minutes prior to the iron then a protein shake right afterwards so maybe digestion is zapping the adrenalin away but that seems a REAL stretch! The other change is in the workouts themselves. The new structure breaks UBWO & LBWO across 2 days each, really focusing on fewer muscle groups daily but really to failure each time. MAYBE having muscles more wiped out has an effect but again…seems a stretch.

A FB pal suggested a thermos of coffee for the drive in after the gym but given my history with stress headaches this past winter, which seemed to dissipate when I cut out MOST caffeine back in March or April, I really hate to get back into that rut if I can avoid it BUT MAYBE with recent life events settling a little & the extra sleep POSSIBLY some caffeine wouldn’t be an issue.

Any of you fellow AM gym rats have experience with AM fatigue? If so, any suggestions you may have would be GREATLY appreciated!

BTW, so far this week has been fairly on point in the gym & not even TOO bad on the diet front with the exception of a weekend shop cookout this past weekend resulting in a couple hamburger buns heading through the pipes with a few BBQ chips along with a couple small brownies with natty peanut butter icing that washed’em down...GRRR! Why oh why did I ever share that idea / recipe LOL?!?!? Oh, and while I’m being honest…there were a couple Smirnoff Triple Black beverages involved later as well & I must admit I never even read the labels but they were cold, wet & tasty LOL! Since Body for Life even allows one cheat day a week I didn’t figure it was TOO bad overall even though Doc Ming wouldn’t approve of the flour content & trainer Sam would freak over the sugar grams!

The Wicked / Hippie PUSH challenge has been a ball too! This week’s total SO FAR is 212,280 LBs & it’s only Tuesday so I’m looking to make this weeks total my best of the event!!! Trying to figure out how to break the half million pound mark this week without visiting the ER, given I’ve only got about an hour each AM to dedicate to the effort. Since my knees won’t take a bazillion daily squats like Wicked has been doing maybe I could start pressing some stainless steel bar stock overhead at the side job nightly once I get my machine setup & cycling LOL! Just have to weigh a 6 footer & start counting! The shop owners who hang out or stop by in the evenings have a pretty good sense of humor. I think they’d approve LMBO!

Once again, any insights y’all may have on the AM fatigue front would be GREATLY appreciated! Rock on pals!!!

The Winds of Change Are Blowing...

Whew, what a week!

Took last Friday afternoon & evening off for a screening physical to begin acupuncture on my shoulder, caught the latest Transformers in 3D that evening then chilled out at BB King’s Blues Club on

Beale St.

Friday night. Got up fairly early Saturday & kicked it off with 70K in legs then had my first ever needle fest with Doc Ming & his magic then hit the side job & worked til 10PM. Arose Sunday AM & it was just too nice to be inside, at first, so I took a nice walk then hit the side job again for 6 hours then cut up a downed tree in Sunday afternoon’s nearly 100F temps then chilled out for the evening at the new H-D biker bar & grille with a COOL blues duo for a few hours. Monday was business as usual hitting legs again for 71K then flying the desk all day & machining parts all evening.

It was at this point the week got ALL jacked up! Tuesday & Wednesday the side job shop was a mess, getting in our latest Swiss lathe & getting everything all straightened back out. When they put the last new one in we arranged everything so there was space for all to clear getting this one in but then they decided on a slightly modified floor plan, making it easier for us to keep up with more machines than originally planned so it took two days to dial everything back in. Wednesday morning was THE highlight of the week as I had an awesome ph call with a dear friend who shared some potentially outstanding news & hearing happiness in her voice once again just made my day! Regardless, during those 2 days I quickly found myself back on Insomnia Island. Too much time on my hands & although recent events had gotten my brain & heart somewhat settled over events of the past, like my grandma always said, an idle mind is Satan’s playground & recess went all evening & night BOTH nights.

Started getting back into my rhythm Thursday, pulling my usual first AM workout, 8+4 hours on the jobs then back home 16 hours after leaving, but sleep last night was still highly interrupted with looney dreams & arose this AM feeling WAY worse than when I crashed last night GRRR!!!

Hit Helga’s House of Pain this AM for a BEASTLY back shoulder & bicep grind-a-thon destroying 44K LBs of iron then slid on into the day job where I’m enduring what seems to be the world’s SLOWEST day, going from meeting to meeting not partaking of a late lunch, expecting a long night at the side job starting the process ALL over again only I‘m saving Saturday’s legfest for Sunday so I can MAYBE sleep in just a touch tomorrow before visiting Doc Ming again LOL!

I’ve seen ups & downs, as usual, in friend’s Blogs, status messages & whatnots but all in all gotta call this one a decent week!

Working on Wicked & Hippie’s “PUSH” challenge totaling 388,710 LBs of iron shoved around this week but given Wicked’s insane 1,000 squats yesterday…still not going to be nearly good enough I fear LOL!

Y’all know what a music nut I am & this morning on the way from Helga’s to the day job the Scorpions took charge of the commutermobile’s sounds with Winds of Change & I’ve gotta tell y’all…seems about right! There’s a change brewing for sure. I can’t quite get weapons lock on it YET but it’s brewing & the percolator is just about to boil over. Can’t even say if it’s looking to be a good change or not but the one constant in life is change & it’s on the horizon's edge RFN!

As The World Turns, Stomach Acid Churns & Iron Burns!!!

Hey pals! Been a crazy couple days but keepin’ after it!

Had a really uplifting phone call from a dear friend Saturday morning first thing that just started things off great & put me in SUCH a good mood nothing could scratch it! Mid Saturday morning I had my first visit with an acupuncturist for my shoulder that went to nearly Noon followed by working at the side job til fairly late Saturday night. The acupuncture was fairly bizarre! Little Asian doc came in, shook my hand, asked me a bazillion questions about everything from diet to exercise to virility (which made me laugh given recent life) & was particularly interested in my intake of items having flour & my drinking of water! Dude explained, the same as trainer Sam, that flour is evil! Bread, pasta, ANYTHING with flour is my enemy if I want to lose weight! Then he blew my mind with the water thing! Upside down & backwards from ALL I’d ever heard! He said I should ONLY drink water IF I’m thirsty!!! Too much water is bad in his professional opinion & it should never be colder than room temp! He thinks NOTHING you eat or drink should be colder than room temp since your body will focus too much energy on warming your insides back up which takes away its focus on proper digestion! Uhhhmmm, not so sure about that part but the flour part I’ll work on!

Took a nice morning walk to kick off Sunday, showered & worked most of the day, cut up a downed tree in 100F temps Sunday late afternoon then had a pretty good time Sunday evening at a fun biker & blues bar & grille most of Sunday evening!

Hit Helga’s House of Pain for quads & glutes yesterday morning & had my head back on just right for the first time in ages! Every station just felt right!!! Ground down 71,225 LBs of iron, showered & headed for the car. Got to the car & had a follow up phone call from Saturday that just made my day, hearing happiness in the voice of a dear friend that’s had some real personal life challenges lately. Got to the day job, did my time flying the desk, cruised across town to the side job & had a great night cranking out some hot parts needed in surgery later this week, it was ALL good!

Hit Helga’s again today for chest, shoulders & triceps which are never the favorite BUT need done nonetheless. The place was packed for some reason today but luckily my stations just seemed to be empty at just the right times so I managed 40,770 LBs of UBWO iron grinding this AM which must’ve hit the mark since my arms, especially forearms for some reason, were literally throbbing & had sweat running down them, even AFTER showering, while carrying the gym bag to the car!

Driving to work I kept getting texts from JRs mom, telling me of her latest physical ailment. During our recent 7 mile walk we both got a bit too much sun, to which she’s always been sensitive. She apparently happened to have a doc’s appointment the following week & he didn’t like the looks of something he saw on her sun burnt arms so they did tissue biopsies from a couple spots & called her yesterday, telling her she needed to be in their office when it opened at 7:00 this AM. Turns out she has a mild form of lupus that may have been causing some of her other issues all along, just nobody had figured it out until she got scorched just right. Add this to the fact that after a recent false alarm breast cancer scare her doc took her off her hormone replacement medication that she’d been on since having her hysterectomy 15 years ago & she’s kind of a basket case right now & insists on sharing & communicating NOW after years of refusal to do so LOL! Apparently hormone replacements have to be followed & tweaked from time to time & for whatever reason they’d decided she has to come CLEAR off of them for a month then go through some testing to determine what she actually really needs now SOOO her body actually thinks she going through “the change” which I’d always been thankful it seemed she wouldn’t have to go through but NO! Doc just has to play with her, like a grandparent giving your child M&Ms & Mt Dew RIGHT before sending them back home & now after all these years, NOW she wants to talk about what all went wrong over our last 10 or 15 of 25 years & why of course it’s all my fault, one way or another, LOL! Ahhh! Life is good…or so I keep hearing LMAO!

Some days you’re the windshield & some days you’re the bug but by God…I’m gonna be the baddest assed bug around if I make it through all this crap!!!

Rock on pals!

WOW! What a weekend!!!

Finally took a day off Sunday & went hiking!!! JR, his girlfriend & her family went camping over in AR this weekend & JR’s mom has recently begun wanting to talk about the past, trying to reconcile things a bit it would seem. Her refusal to acknowledge or discuss problems the last 10ish years of our 25 was mostly what killed our marriage IMHO. Anyhow, we talked over dinner & Megaritas Saturday evening after MMS & when I mentioned taking Sunday off to go hiking she wanted join in so we could talk some more, or so she thought!

My original plan was to take the 7 mile horse / mountain bike trail around Shelby Farms which is dirt & has some decent terrain (for the Delta) but since she isn’t accustomed to exercise AT ALL I was a nice bear, or so I thought, opting for the smooth, relatively flat, paved nature trails & Greenline but still laid out a 7 mile “walk” which seemed totally do-able since I planned on starting NO LATER than 8AM!!!

Well, by the time we got done looking through all the old photos she wanted me to see, that she’d dug up, we hit the trail head at 11AM, 91F & FULL blazing sun. Slathered on LOTS of sweat proof sun tan lotion, packed 4 quarts of water for us in MY backpack & headed out. By the half way mark she was NOT happy & by the time we got back to the truck she was nearly ill, wishing to water Steely’s flower beds, a blister on the little toe of one foot & another on the ball of the other foot. Griz’s name was MUD! I should’ve known better than to throw that much at her! She’s not used to that much exercise & I KNEW that!!! Blah Blah Blah! Can we go back to not talking now LOL???

We stopped A LOT, rested in the shade PLENTY, drank LOTS of water. Admittedly she has spinal issues where her neck meets her shoulders but I said, “It’s not like you were carrying a tool box OR even wearing THE backpack!” Her reply was just TOO tempting!!! “Well, I was carrying me!” Now, you know Griz just HAD to go there!!! Yep! Took a beatin’ for that one BUT it was worth it LMBO! “Yeah, that’s true! That was BAD ENOUGH!” OUCH, OWWW! Wow! I did get sun burnt shoulders & she knew RIGHT where to hit!!! I deserved it so on we go! Dumping what was left of my water bottle on her head seemed like the thing to do at the time too LOL!!! Turned out she actually liked that, after the initial shock wore off!

Anyhow, cranked out 9.5 hours at MMS yesterday after 78,350 LBs of core iron & 300 HIIT cardio calories which had the calves, hammies & quads screamin’ since they weren’t really happy after Sunday’s adventure anyhow. Hit Helga’s House of pain this AM after watching a gorgeous sunrise & cranked off 33,975 LBs of chest, shoulders & tricep iron prepping for trainer Sam’s return tonight. We’re supposed to hit hammies & calves tomorrow then back, shoulders & biceps Thursday so we’ll see how that all shakes out.

On the getaway front, things are looking better & better! Came across a package deal that includes round trip passenger train tickets from Memphis to New Orleans & back perfectly before & after the 7 day cruise which only brings the total to $1100 & means I don’t even have to drive down to the boat! I always loved the rails in Europe but they were admittedly 120MPH so Amtrak’ll be just a LITTLE bit different LOL! Still not crazy about a cruise but EVERYBODY swears I’ll love it & I’m SURE I’ll love hiking the Mayan ruins & the Yucatan during the full day shore excursion! Time’ll tell I guess! Rock on pals!!!

Griz Finally Set Some New Goals!!!

WOW! What a week!!! Punched out with 41 hours last night, on the side job, so it’s been a long one for sure! Our weeks there run from Friday AM through Thursday PM for a Friday payroll. Walking out the door of the day job yesterday after a meeting with a herd of ties up to our VP, presenting my latest project plan, my new boss pulled me aside & congratulated me on my raise! Didn’t know I was getting one & it was only a couple percent but HEY! I’ll take it!!! When I got to the side job last night I teased’em about the price of their procrastination, explaining my raise, but then I assured them that the numbers in my last offer are still good if they get off the pot so we’ll see how that all pans out! These guys LOVE to play poker, figuratively speaking, but I just despise the haggle game!!!

So, as you’ve seen, I started officially working this new fitness program with trainer Sam on Wednesday & I’m nearly toast already LOL! Worked quads & glutes Wed then chest, shoulders & triceps yesterday, then knowing I’ll be on my feet / on the concrete all day Saturday I pulled hammies & calves up to today (too close to quads & glutes, I know this now!) then tomorrow I’ll torch back, shoulders & biceps. Because of my bum shoulder Sam suggested exercises that are mostly chest / tricep related that hit shoulders on Thursday & ones that hit back & biceps with shoulders for Saturday. MAN! Are the legs SCREAMING today!

Started off with 5 minutes of cardio fat burning on the LifeCycle for warming up the sticks then hit the LifeFitness dual leg leg curl for 3 full sets followed by 3 sets of standing HammerStrength calf presses which were a trip since it took a bit to get warm & fuzzy that the balls of my feet weren’t going to slide off the diamond plate steel surface while my heels hung off & extended well past 90 degrees stretching the Achilles REAL well! Next I it the HammerStrength single leg leg curl for 3 sets, followed by 3 sets of ankle stretch / calf presses on the incline leg press sled & wrapped it all up with another 5 minutes of cardio on the bike. I’m thinking next week it’s gonna be quads & glutes on Monday with hammies & calves on Thursday so Saturday at MMS doesn’t totally suck AND the legs’ll have had more time to recover a little between quad & hammy days!

I’m working on the diet front as well, cutting back the breads & pastas & intaking a little lean protein pre-workout BUT decided the diet part begins hard core July 5^th so I can enjoy this long weekend a little then see if I can’t kick last year’s results square in the pants!

Now as many of you may know, Griz is planning to hit the Panama City, FL beach with the BodyBuilding.com crew October 7^th so that’s the short term deadline, shooting for <330 by then with LOTS of bodily rearranging to be included!

I’m also tentatively planning to take my first ever, disconnect from the world, ocean liner cruise from Christmas to New Years so really got to get burning! Not sure I’ll like the cruise AT ALL since I don’t gamble, I don’t swim, I sunburn easily & HATE having to dress up fancy schmancy for dinner BUT everybody I’ve EVER spoken with that’s taken one swears they’re GREAT & the one I’m seriously considering sails out of New Orleans, which I can easily drive to the night before & includes a hiking land excursion through the Mayan Ruins! THAT part I KNOW I’m enthused about but again…GOT to get in MUCH better shape to really enjoy it properly!!! Shooting for a much more solid body 299 by castoff so this is going to be a long hard summer!!!

Rock on pals!