Griz VS The Stressors of Life

So as I’d mentioned previously, I’ve been working with trainer Sam on a new program to take my fitness efforts to the next level. Sam got derailed a bit by the death in his extended family & didn’t make it into the gym yesterday morning. When he stopped by the shop last night he was all apologetic, explaining how he just hadn’t gotten back in the game from his recent loss & as we discussed life he unloaded all sorts of his personal swirl, everything from his recent loss to his failed first marriage on into what he’s worried are early warnings of similar problems with his present, 2^nd, wife. Dude is a cool guy, works his tail off traveling the western half of TN & the northern half of MS as a regional sales manager for an international company. Since his wife has a good job in Nashville he keeps his home in the far corner of his territory which in turn keeps him on the road 3-4 days weekly so that she can remain where she’s been, a compromise they’re willing to make which they’d agreed upon before marrying.

Well, years ago I went through my dad’s eventual losing battle with stomach then spinal cancer then just a few years later went through it again with my best friend of nearly 20 years as he battled & eventually succumbed to lung cancer so I feel his pain & stress of the recent loss. Now when we got into the marital / relationship stressors, again Griz has had his own battles & failures so again I can feel his pain so I guess where this all leads me to the stressors of life.

My dearly departed pal had a favorite expression for years, “With a life like mine, why prolong it?!?!?” He’d been married 4 times, two of the 4 to the same woman, but through all of that he only ever had 1 child, a daughter who played him against her mom every chance she saw an opportunity to get something she wanted, everything from designer jeans to high dollar sneakers to a car & eventually an Ivy League education both of her parents couldn’t really afford let alone either of them solo so now Sam & his 2^nd wife are having step child issues that have led to $ issues & relationship strife, more stressors of life.

JR’s mom & I had many issues over $, mostly her not understanding it doesn’t grow on trees & her lack of appreciation of what she had. We both grew up fairly poor & I’ve always worked my tail off to ensure we didn’t continue living that way & making sure our kids had all they needed as well as more of what they wanted than was probably wise, hindsight is amazing stuff. $ is often the root of much strife in life, no doubt, but the step child issue I can’t completely relate with, never actually making it clear into that situation. As Sugar Bear & I got to know each other it always amazed me the awesome relationship she had with her son & I always knew that in order for there ever to be an “us” it was a package deal but I never saw that as a problem. She’s been an awesome momma bear & I’d have strictly been there to try & help along the way had things worked out. Sam’s struggles bring me puzzlement since he has 2 Jr high age kids & his 2^nd wife has 2 kids just into college. The strife has come through the new wife getting bent that he doesn’t spend as much time or $ on “stuff” for her kids as he does on his, even though hers are basically grown & their tuition FAR outweighs everything he does with his younger ones. Also, since hers are off at school it’s tough for him to spend equal time with them but obviously from the outside looking in its tough to understand both sides of the problem.

ANYHOW, Sam just opened up his soul & this all just poured out including his admission that as of late he & Jack Daniels have become late night pals, otherwise he just can’t sleep due to the brain wracking he’s going through trying to figure out how to right himself in life. WOW! Can I relate to that or what?!?!? Well, not SOOO much the JD but the rest sure stuck home. So he mentioned that Monday night was the first really good night’s sleep he’d had in weeks, hoping I’d understand his absence yesterday! Of course relating SOOO well with THAT pain I slapped him on the back & told him to NEVER turn down a good night’s sleep for me so apparently he took me at my word as he was a no show again today.

I guess all that’s what put me back on Insomnia Island last night, pondering why life has to be such a stress loaded deal. Why things have to almost ALWAYS be an uphill battle, why EVERYTIME you think things are about to right themselves allowing at least a little relief from the stress, a little reward for the effort, a few moments of shared joy or passion even for the work on relationships, Murphy comes along & greases the skids with an entirely new hill to climb, battle to be fought, a new stressor to be overcome, GRRR!!!

I guess it should be of some comfort knowing I’m nowhere near the only one with these same issues but it’s not. Actually seems to have made it worse, makes it seem even less likely thing’s will ever work out as they should. When I arrived at the gym this AM I posted an old ELO song in Facebook, Telephone Line, that drifted across the nightstand last night starting this entire train of thought & I’ve come to realize that yeah, there are ALWAYS going to challenges to overcome, battles to be fought or avoided when possible, & relationship work to be done. The MOST important & hopeful thing I can think of, to have ANY hope of success, is the idea of facing those challenges shoulder to shoulder with a dearly loved one who has similar ideals & ideas of the meaning of success in life but then again, finding & hanging onto that dearly loved one turns out to be a battle & stressor all its own.

Rock on pals! Thank God at least it’s hump day!