Happy Tuesday! HERE COMES HUMP DAY!!!
Hoping to be getting back to a more consistent rhythm in life here shortly but time’ll tell. Backing away from Facebook for a bit, (for those of you who’ve been pulling double duty with the Griz) trying to simplify life some & trim the personal swirl generation issues outta my life, FB being one of the worst. I believe I'm finally coming to grips on a middle grounds as friends with Sugar bear as she is a great person & an amazing lady who I can't imagine loosing touch with. That WOULD drive me crazy, wondering how she was doing LOL!
ANYHOW! Hit Helga’s House of Pain early AM Sunday for a quad & glute blowout then did chest, shoulders & TRIs yesterday followed by an intense core grind enveloped by varied exercise HIIT cardio sessions before, mid & after today!
I’m taking this week, per trainer Sam’s advice & running all high rep, lower weights, after last week’s PUSH challenge grindfest. Still can’t believe I got beat by not 1 but 2 girls LOL!!! I don’t mind getting smoked by competitor Capital Jay but getting PUSHed aside by 1/3 of the gals competing is a beast of a blow to the ol’psyche LMBO! Time to step it up a notch or 13!!!
Tomorrow is supposed to be hammies & calves then back, shoulders & BIs Thursday & core / cardio once more to wrap up the 6 day training week. Things are still crazy on the work front too, 82 hours worth last week! The side job keeps growing & getting busier which is a good thing as I’m still haggling with’em, trying to make that my full time+ gig so I can stop commuting clear across the Memphis metro daily to fly a desk I’ve come to loathe. Once again, time’ll tell.
Trying to continue working on my patience as that’s proven to be a large part of my inability to handle the personal swirl, striving for resolution on issues more quickly than life allows.
Believe it or not, JRs mom has actually been striving to bridge the gap, chasm actually, that was created over the past 10 to 15 dead years of our marriage, is finally wanting to talk about all that went wrong & every now & then trying to throw a patch over a "convenient" hole here or there but that road is still L*O*N*G & full of many "inconvenient" holes. I do believe her recent false positive scare with breast cancer, along with her repeating degenerative disk spinal problems, have her finally realizing the material crap she’s always focused on isn’t nearly as important as maybe having someone to share it with after all but we still have LOTS of issues to work on that I really struggle seeing her tackling willingly but there’s that need for patience once again.
I fully expected to be celebrating July 4th as a VERY different kind of Independence Day this year but when things fell apart, blew up actually, with Sugar Bear back in Feb I kind of lost all hope for that & then about a month ago when the docs thought JRs mom had bilateral breast lumps right as she was beginning treatment on her thoracic spinal degeneration she kinda freaked & woke up I guess. I was there for her already as moral support & she honestly does seem to want to try & make amends. I’ve just got nearly a decade & a half worth of cynicism to overcome. Tigers just don’t change their stripes easily so I’m taking it one battle at a time but trying to keep the iron as my consistent companion while perfecting & inducing the anal cranial inversion device & refocus on some sort of a future that isn’t pitch dark after all.
I guess the one thing February’s blow up with Sugar Bear taught me, if nothing else, is that no matter how damn hard you try, desire, dream or wish …one person can NOT hold up both ends of a relationship once it’s gone & that’s what I’d been doing for nearly 15 of 25 years with JRs mom but now I see it just doesn’t work, can’t work. Just like a near utter failure on bench press…if both sides aren’t pulling their load (okay PUSHing)...well…it’s not gonna be pretty & in relationships there just aren’t any spotters allowed so your soul is just gonna get crushed SOOO stretch, prepare & don’t bite off more than you can chew!
Rock on pals! Work hard, train hard, play hard & love deeply...that's what I want on my headstone...one day LOL!
No comments:
Post a Comment