Today Started Off With A SMILE!!!

So, last night ran a little long at the side job then I had to fix up some compliant chow for today so I only got about 5 hours of sleep & WOW! Did I ever have 3 freaky dreams or WHAT?!?!? First was the usual work related kinda mind bender, next was your usual WTH & Where did THAT come from but that last one was AWESOME!!! A shared scenario imagined in the past but played out in the near future which brought today online with a SMILE! VERY NICE!!!

Cranked it up at 04:30, downed my suggested small amount of pre workout lean protein & headed for Helga’s House of Pain to meet up with trainer Sam. Now, upon actually rising I discovered that yesterday’s quad work had in fact found its mark & WOW! Were the dogs ever barking?!?!? YeeHaaH! Progress in the making!!! Hit Helga’s, got my locker situated, put in 5 minutes of warm up cardio, which ALWAYS illicits a shiz eating grin from Ms. Snooty when she’s there, then dove into chest, shoulders & triceps!

Spent a few moments making SURE trainer Sam understood my shoulder issues & Ms. Iron Talons instructions to which he ASSURED me we’ll be keeping the stabilizer muscles plenty busy enough to satisfy the requirements!

Ground out 3 sets of 10 reps on every station & on left / right independent stations, 10 reps per arm per set for 3 sets. Began with the usual LifeFitness overhead shoulder press & horizontal chest press to warm things up but TS had me back’em both down a plate, focusing on perfect, FULL range, SLOW form. Next we moved to the Hammer Strength Iso Wide grip chest press & the incline shoulder press where he demonstrated how dramatically handle grip / hand placement effects how each rep hits the muscles & where. Next we tried a rig I’d seen before but had never messed with that is actually PERFECT for my shoulder!!! It a Free Motion cable shoulder press which has pulleys mounted wide apart & well behind you & has like hard rubber tennis ball sized spheres on the cables which as you stroke the motion are supposed to roll down & back up the tops of your arms. Now what makes this beast so unique is that the pulleys are not only mounted wide & well behind you but are also on swivels so maintaining stability throughout each rep is ALL on you & REALLY adds to both the difficulty & effectiveness of it! TS started me out at 40 LBs to get me used to the motion & wobbly cable rig then cranked it to 50 for set 2 & 60 for set 3 where reps 8-10 were tough enough TS kinda freaked when he got his first serious growls outta Griz LOL! When I finished the set he kinda laughed & said he’s heard LOUD breathing, grunting & even swearing but had never heard anyone growl at the iron before so I had to bring him up to speed LOL!

Moving on we cranked through seated cable rowing, seated pull down using both wide & narrow grips, standing cable rope pull downs adding in Marine’s wrist twist at the bottom of each stroke, then we moved over to the dumbbells, cranking out incline flyes & overhead tricep presses.

All told, today’s efforts added up to 34,320 LBs of iron & by the time I got to my desk at 07:59:59 I already had the upper body quivers working in concert with yesterday’s quad throbs so all these lousy meetings I’ve got today are going to make it a LONG one!!!

Rock on pals & as I’ve become fond of saying; work hard, train hard, play hard (I know Chuck, not TOO hard) & love deeply!

The Train Has LEFT The Station!!!

Okay pals, so as I’d mentioned I’ve made a new friend who's in town for business Tues, Wed, Thurs each week who used to be a competitive body builder & trainer on the side. Sam's started working up a plan with me & this morning was my first official workout with him. During said workout he REALLY focused on getting me to grasp the benefits of full range of motion & proper form & is MUCH more into body weight / free weight exercises than circuit machines which will be a MAJOR shift for me. Full range of motion is going to require some MAJOR work as well since I’ve grown accustomed to the circuit gear’s ranges which are admittedly more limited than they should be & flexibility has NEVER been a Griz strong suit so all the more reason I guess I need to check into pal Laura’s Yoga & TaiChi suggestions for bedtime.

As you may know, I've been doing an upper body / lower body split for about a year now & trainer dude is breaking it down MUCH further to a couple muscle groups getting total focus & shreddage daily, cycling through the full body weekly. This morning we used a mix of all, circuit, free weights & body weight exercises, but included an upright bike warm up, circuit leg extensions, hack squats, leg presses & squats using dumbbells & one of those big exercise balls behind my back / against a wall. That ball felt REALLY odd as I kept expecting it to either squirt out from behind me or just plain pop under the load LMAO! Since that was the very last set I had time for, when I was done that ball was literally dripping wet with sweat so something must’ve been working!

Sam’s other BIG focus is getting my head outta my keister on the diet front, like friends Rick & Al have been trying to do for ages now. I honestly know most of this schtuff academically, MUCH of it I’ve learned from my BodyBuilding.Com pals & Body For Life, but with the personal swirl that’s been going on this year Griz’s heart just hasn't been in it fully so now that the darkness is finally getting aired outta my soul some focus is returning & it's time to stoke the boiler on this train wreck!!! I say darkness but that’s REALLY not fair. It’s just been a really confusing frustrating roller coaster ride of a year but finally identifying the root causes of the failures (in the mirror) has begun to put some closure on the wounds so darkness is the wrong term, but with the right side effects.

I do truly appreciate all of the patience, info & detail my dear pals have imparted & believe me, I have been listening! It’s just now I’m finally regaining the attitude necessary to execute, although it’s going to be a huge adjustment!

Realizing Sam’s coming from a competitive background he may have a bit of an extreme attitude but he knows how far I’ve come compared to how much, much, much further I desire to go SO he’s trying to employ similar guidelines as those he followed, without throwing me quickly into burnout. His goal is less than 10G-12G of sugar daily TOTAL, avoiding SIMPLE carbs like the plague & he fully agrees with Rick’s mantra of no carbs from anything that isn’t green past Noon! Another thing he’s preaching totally agrees with Lee’s recent Blog about AM exercise while being in a fasting state not being the end all after all. I know Rick talks about “starting the feeding” way early but I’ve just never worked out with anything on my stomach so that’s going to be another major adjustment! Nearly pulled a Lavona flower bed filling trick this morning coming off the leg press, nearing the end of the overall routine, but there just weren’t any flowers so I managed to keep breakfast down BUT that was a short exercise all it’s own too LOL!

77,700 LBs of primarily Quads & Glutes got ground thoroughly today which has the dogs barking already!!! Gonna be a long hot summer pals!!! Rock on!

An Entirely New Plan!!!

So last night while working at MMS a tool rep stopped in who used to be a competitive body builder & psuedo trainer. As we spoke I asked him his opinion on various diet & training ideas I’ve been toying with & he queried my quest. When I explained my last 18 months, fitness wise, he was really enthused, saying if I’d lost 60 pounds, mostly in the middle 6 months, my goal of a solid 235 was totally attainable! He offered to take a look at my diet (such as it has been lately) & my workout spreadsheets to make some suggestions to break the plateau & get this freight train back up to speed! He’s a firm believer in working just a couple muscle groups daily but to complete failure then cycling through’em all in a 1 week cycle, 5 to 6 days a week with at least some cardio thrown in on every training day. He still pulls doubles, cardio AM & iron PM but when I explained my 12-16 hour days on the clock plus an hour total in commute & 90 minutes at the gym he agreed doubles aren’t an option.

He’s also very much a disbeliever in fasting exercise. He’s positive if I’d begin eating at least a little lean protein upon rising my gut will shortly adapt to working out with food & my grinding will become MUCH more productive. I explained I totally agree with the adding lean muscle to lose flab philosophy & he was totally shocked since, in his opinion, my approach has been much more geared towards shedding flab BUT he added that he’ll focus the shedding of flab on diet & the adding of lean on the iron. This all sounds VERY familiar, AKA BodyBuilding.com pals, so I’m not seeing anything Greek here just hoping to shuffle things up a bit & regain the focus & motivation I once had! The cool thing is that he’s in town Tues, Wed & Thurs weekly so he’s ready to jump in & help push start this diesel locomotive!

So anyhow, trainer dude hung out at MMS talking diet & training while I ran parts until I left around 9:30. Then he was at the gym biking away when I rolled in this AM. We started talking workout structure & he asked if I’d eaten anything prior to showing up, as he’d suggested last night. I said that I had at 4:50AM & he freaked! He remembered I was at the shop til 9:30 & pointed out I’m not getting NEARLY enough sleep for the body to heal so I asked where the “MAGIC EXTRA TIME ATM” was located & he laughed but said 5 or 6 hours nightly just isn’t enough. I explained that 5 to 6 hours nightly has been a recent & HUGE improvement over months past & he just shook his head, asking if I wondered why I’d plateau’ed ?!?!?

As the program takes shape I’ll make sure to letchy’all know what Griz is up to but for the meantime I’m more & more hoping things pan out in negotiations with MMS so I can cut back to 10-12 hour days, 6 days a week rather than the 12-16 hour days, 6-7 days weekly I’ve been running lately! That way MAYBE I’ll have a lil more time to cook more decent / real food & POSSIBLY even slip in an extra hour of sack time here & there LOL!

Rock on pals!

It'll All Make Sense One Day...Hopefully!

Started to generate a new Blog, a soul dump of sorts, & got about a page into it but realized it’s not just my story to share so it ended up in the bit bucket. It held details that have brought me to this point in life but many of those points have dual ownership & I can’t, in good conscience, publish them on my own, out of the deepest respect for the co-owner.

As any of you know that have followed along this journey, it’s been quite a ride for the past year or so! I’ve often referred it to a roller coaster with the most soul enriching amazing ups combined with the most heart wrenching downs but I guess that’s just life as some know it! I believe why these ups & downs, or more specifically the swings between, have been such a wild ride for me because for 15 or so of my previous 25 years, life had been spent emotionally dead. I’d spent all those years working, raising a couple ornery sons, lost my dad to cancer, providing care for ill & elderly in-laws, having basically been nothing more than a provider in a dead & passionless life with a spouse who refused to acknowledge or discuss any problems that existed so dealing with thrills & heartbreaks lately has been something I’d forgotten how to deal with.

Finally I thought I had a plan but every corner turned hid a new obstacle, a new crisis, a new opportunity OR heartbreak & through it all it would seem I’ve managed to screw up in almost every way imaginable, mastering nearly every failure mode I’d encountered. Primarily it seems I have an incessant need to over communicate, which IMHO comes from SOOO many years with no communication, which has led to SOOO many misunderstandings & eventually meltdowns on one end or the other.

Since the last catastrophe in mid February sleep had hardly existed, 2 to 4 hours a night max, coming in about 2 hour naps before the brain would spin up again, searching for answers regarding what had gone SOOO wrong. Recently I’d taken on a second job to try knock out some debt & to occupy my swirling mind, leading eventually to a point of burnout a couple weeks ago where my conscious mind finally just caved one night, allowing my heart to be heard after all these weeks, months actually.

Seems to me that my mind had been SOOO tied up in knots trying to figure out the “what” of the final failure I’d refused to consciously consider the why! Going back to my previous life, the complete lack of communication regarding problems was THE primary frustration & finally realizing that this same issue was re-occurring once again finally led to a couple realizations on my part; first of all, I’m the only common denominator in both problems & secondly for this issue to have reoccurred after just a few months, realizing the co-owner of those previously mentioned details knows of this frustration, can only mean that I’ve managed to ruin whatever opportunities or plans that may have existed, since if there were still any hope there, this refusal to communicate issues could never have reoccurred to anywhere near such a soul wrenching level. Now as painful as all of this has been to admit, digest & deal with, it has also brought at least some relief, as odd as that may sound. I’ve finally been able to release some of the angst over the “what” & have even begun to sleep 5 or 6 hours a night (occasionally even more), sometimes even straight through, without waking in total frustration. I guess there’s also a third aspect I still have to deal with as well, that being how do I re-wire my soul, my being, who I am, to stop recreating this failure? There aren’t enough pixels in the web for that conversation so I’ll leave it as rhetorical.

I’d begun a quest to re-acquire some level of fitness in my life about 18 months ago & during the middle six, when things were hopeful for a bright & better future, that quest made tremendous progress but then has all but stalled since. Now, my renewed quest has to be, not only figuring out how to fix the errors of my ways mentally & emotionally but also to find ways to self motivate, as SOOO many have told me I need to do, rather that relying on external hope or happiness for that drive. So, the personal swirl continues, albeit different than before but continues none the less.

Regarding the quest, I started today with the “morning after” full body quivers, without having had ANY of the “night before” fun or action! Not sure what’s up with that. Punched out approximately 20 hours at the side job over the weekend, got some decent sleep, had a great time with live music & dinner both Friday & Sunday nights, took in over a gallon of water while at work daily, had a few libations downtown Friday night, only 1 (at home) Saturday night & NONE yesterday so what that was all about I have NO idea. Still managed to grind out 71,225 LBs of LBWO iron this morning but while dismounting my final station of my final set, the horizontal leg press, I turned into a 6’2” human Pez dispenser with a giant cramp radiating from the back of my skull all the way down between my shoulder blades, pulling my head nearly 90 degrees back from normal! Had to be quite a sight! I’ve had that deal once before but never figured it out then either. Oh well, just another mystery to add to the list of life LOL! Rock on pals. One day hopefully it’ll all make sense…meanwhile it’s time to stoke the fire!

Decisions, Decisions!!!

Happy Thursday gang!

So as you may or may not have read, for the past couple months Griz has been flying a dayshift desk then pulling 20-40+ hours weekly, nights & weekends, at a cool side job, getting back to my machining / tool & die roots, making custom patient specific surgical implants & mating surgical instrumentation at a small shop near the house. The 4 owners of that small shop have a solid business plan & are growing that business, even in this tough economy, at an impressive rate & have recently added nearly $2 million in additional equipment. In order to keep up with the growing engineering & operations requirements they’ve begun negotiating with me to come on full time & then some there, leaving the desk jockey job behind & taking over operations. This sounds Uber appealing as I really enjoy the hands on, making, doing, driving, customer interface, of that job compared to the corporate America, fly a desk, sit in meetings, day job BUT 2 of these 4 guys are serious poker playing businessmen who love the game of haggle, which is a game I despise!!! They’re really pushing me to take a smaller salary, to save themselves overhead, but as an offset are offering a small percentage in business ownership. Now at this point, ownership is nearly a net $ wash, based on risk to reward, due to all the recent additional capital investments BUT long term could be an outstanding opportunity. Decisions, decisions LOL!

What’s all this got to do with pushing iron?!?!? Well, just sharing some of what has Griz’s brain swirling these days, on top of everything else you’ve already heard about! Wouldn’t want you thinking I’m letting the gray matter / memory muscle sit idle while working the rest of’em!

This morning I managed to grind out 33,600 LBs of UBWO iron, Ms Iron Talon’s high rep / low weight way, on about a 5 hour nap with weird dreams that were at least a bit less dramatic & MUCH less depressing than the nightmare parade of Tuesday night!

Rock on pals! Hopefully things’ll settle into a groove one of these days but never fear! Boredom is NOT a part of Griz’s life anymore!!!

Thank God It's Hump Day!!!

Happy hump day gang!!! For those of you also on FB, this is a much more detailed version of my Alice Cooper; Welcome To My Nightmare posting from this morning. Their 420 character limit just BLOWS LOL!

Ya know, the subconscious mind is Murphy’s playground! Over roughly the past year I’ve shared & wrenched on demons, fears & doubts with a dear one & whenever something seems to have been resolved Murphy has redirected his attacks & has restoked their fires nearly every time.

Now just as a point of reference, Griz has always been one to dream deeply when sleeping. For years friends have been amazed at the craziness of my dreams & the level of detail that often lingers after waking but the older I get the deeper & more vivid the dreams have become. Another phenomenon of the past year or so has been an amazing correlation between the emotions & happenings of the day with the content & tone of the dreams. Great passionate days made for WOW! Nearly teenagerish euphoria & excitement in the dreams whereas the downer mad sad disappointing days have made for nightmarish nights, when sleep has even existed at all so apparently the older I get the more my subconscious is reaching out to connect with life.

Yesterday I had an email exchange with an old pal from a previous life, dredging up all the relational mistakes, bad life decision & BS assumptions I’ve made or allowed to exist in my past. So last night Murphy rolled’em all into quite a VIVID nightmare parade of hurt, sadness & angst, running what seemed EVERY freaking moment from pillow to alarm. Thank heavens for the leg day iron fest! Arose, racking headache & all, & drug my frazzled mind & somewhat weary carcass into Helga’s House of Pain for a right proper destruction from the hips down, burning off at least some of the night’s frustrations!

Ground out 54,120 LBs of LBWO iron, all the while searching for that magic & elusive reset button in my skull. Seems every time I begin to make some fitness progress, start building any kind of life momentum, or begin to get this gaping wound in my soul closing, Murphy finds a new way to grease the skids but I realize that’s just life! As I’ve mentioned a bazillion times already, having lived in a numb relationship for the past 10 or 15 years I’ve just forgotten how to handle the swings from elation to sadness which a passionate life sends your way in any sort of positive manner but admittedly each time it gets A LITTLE less painful, I can’t say ANY easier but the skin, or heart, must be finally toughening up some once again. Time for yet another reset & try again!

Rock on pals! Tomorrow’s another day & at least it’s downhill to the weekend from here!!!

Thank Heavens Dear One Taught Me Patience!!!

Okay, so Griz is Griz. I can get along with NEARLY anybody BUT if we don’t click, that’s cool. Better we both just move along because changing who we are, fundamentally, to play nice together just won’t work, long term & people who try to be fake & twist around happy faces for all just PIZZ me off, they always have! I call them plastic people. Now over the past year a dear friend has REALLY helped me to improve my patience skills in life & this morning that proved VERY helpful!

Recently I’ve re-entered the real iron arena, joining Helga’s House of Pain (aka ATC Fitness) due to being relo’d to our distribution center which is off campus where the workplace gym was located. First AM today was to be LBWO which ALWAYS lights my fire! The way ATC is arranged is basically a large circle with a mirrored wall nearly bisecting it. On one half is all the usual cardio gear; all arranged facing the center of the circle. Within the ring of cardio rigs are all the various Life Fitness resistance circuit training equipment. The other half of the facility has all of the Hammer Strength plate loaded stations & various free weight stations. As I made entry, passing by the ring of cardio, a fairly fit middle aged lady was trotting her morning away on one of the treadmills & as we made eye contact I noticed her give me a quick once over then turn her nose back in the air, moving on.

No biggie, I’m a newbie HERE & self admittedly NOT one of the average gym going pretty people. I went on & arranged my locker, sweatband, iPod, note pad (yeah, I’m still tweaking station settings & finding the appropriate loads to master burnout in an efficient time) & proceed to bust out a respectable LBWO. Once done with the circuits, knowing I had yet another meeting marathon of desk jockeying to look forward to today, I mounted the treadmill farthest from Ms. Snooty for a 5 minute cool off to stretch things out & spread the lactic acid around evenly in the attempt of acquiring a nice even case of DOMS rather than a focused industrial calf or thigh crampfest later.

As Ms Snooty dismounted her treadmill & headed for her circuit she again gave me a “kiss my @ZZ” look as she passed by, which I basically ignored. I noticed she was going back through the LBWO stations I’d just done & also noticed as she left each station her expression began to soften a little more each time.

As I dismounted my treadmill to head for a shower I had to pass her, exiting a station, so just to prove what a gentleman I can be I nodded & wished her a good one. BIG MISTAKE! I had awoken the hen & she began cackling! Head flipping & jerking, lips running 90 MPH, so I stopped & pulled the earbuds, apologizing for not hearing a single thing she’d said.

She put her hands atop her trophy weekender saddlebag hips & proceeded to lecture me that if I’d just do a little homework all of my hard work might actually result in some progress! WTF?!?!? Griz wanted to just rip her a new one BUT dear one’s patience lessons won the day & I merely growled, “Excuse me, are you a trainer?!?!?” Her expression just melted & she blushed like a school girl who’d just snuck her first peak! “Well, no I’m not.” She replied sheepishly “But I’ve done some web research & noticed you went straight to the stations without stretching or warming up first so all that hard work you did probably did more harm than good, even though you were pushing some really nice loads I must add. Also, cardio AFTER lifting like you did just puts your muscles to sleep, settling them into a slow burn!”

I actually began to laugh, which caught her WAY off guard, explaining that, due to an old ankle & knee injury, on leg day I stretch extensively at home before even dressing, which probably gave her a horror flick thought for the day, then I laughed again, further explaining that besides; hauling this carcass in from the parking lot alone qualifies as a warm up all by itself & I prefer the treadmill AFTER so that I stretch things out & spread the lactic acid around in the attempt of acquiring a nice even case of DOMS rather than an afternoon crampfest while flying my desk.

She didn’t say much more, other than asking what were DOMS & saying I might want to reconsider adding more cardio up front to better prep my muscles for the beating they’re about to receive, said with a little giggle. I explained DOMS & suggested she Google that during her further research, said with an devilish grin as we parted ways.

BTW, couldn’t help noticing her back on the treadmill, AFTER her circuit, as I exited Helga’s but at least I got a little wave goodbye rather than a nose in the air like at hello LMBO!

Rock on pals & remember, be yourselves & be good at it too!!!

Okay, so that TEARS it!!!

What is the matter with this freaking world?!?!? I know Murphy sucks. I know Satan is a pro but I also know God has a plan! All of the suffering we each endure has purpose. I have to believe that in every hardship there’s a lesson we need to learn but sooner or later we SHOULD have learned enough to know how to live happy lives, or MUCH more importantly CONTENT lives.

We grow up hearing all the “Keeping up with the Jones” crap & come to believe more is always better, bigger is always better & admittedly in many cases it is BUT better isn’t always important is it? If better can only be obtained through the pain or angst of another then HELL NO it’s not always better!

I’m not really sure if ANYBODY even freaking reads these Blogs but if you know me from BodyBuilding.com or even Facebook you know I’ve had a roller coaster year. I’d lived in a dead marriage for 25 years then learned through the sharing, sorrows, challenges, then love & passion that life doesn’t have to suck after all. Well, unfortunately as SOOO often is the case, shit happens & I somehow managed to screw that up not once but twice in less than a year but through it all we’re still friends although it’s SOOO tough knowing where we began, where we got to twice and now being behind where it all began. What tears it for me though is that through the dark times, the downs between the ups, the sadnesses that made the happinesses seem almost unbelievable, were 2 things; (1) How many other great people are abso-freaking-lutely miserable too (not that I consider myself a great person by any means BTW) & (2) How many folks who’d called themselves your friend, who you’d cheered & supported through their ups, downs & crisis that decide you’re now just too toxic, too negative & just walk away, stop replying, no longer communicate. Even some really cool folks who’ve exactly been there in that same damn deep dark emotional hole you find yourself in, who willingly accepted a pat on the back or a lift out of the dark when you were there for them must just forget all about that as they walk off into the sunset.

Last night at the side job one of the 4 MMS owners who had noticed my improved mood over the past day or so asked what had changed & began sharing his tale of 16 year woe, unfatihfulness, step kids from hell, law enforcements & legal entanglements, teen pregnancy, on & on finally shaking my hand & thanking me for listening & giving him hope that eventually we can put these things behind us & learn to use the dark to appreciate the light. THEN moments later, while still at work LOL, I was chatting for a moment on FB with another sufferer who’s gone out of her way to better herself physically & emotionally only to be resented by her husband who’s now become angry, insecure & jealous, assuming she’s on the prowl RATHER THAN appreciating the hard work & dedication she’s shown to better herself & enjoy being part of a happier & healthier life & it hit me! There’s freaking nobody who makes it through life without hitting these walls, NOBODY! We bantered back & forth & in the process of trying to cheer her up I mentioned I thought it ALL had something to do with an apple & a freaking snake & I HATE snakes LOL! She said I did manage to make her smile so the day was worthwhile!

Screw Murphy! Let’s ALL find a piece of happy & frame it in our hearts so when the dark moments hit…we’ve got a smile stashed away for just such an occasion!!!

Rock on pals!!!

Painful Realizations Hopefully Lead To Self Improvement...Right???

Well, gang most of this belongs on a shrink’s couch somewhere but venting is partly what Blogs are for right?

Sunday night I came home from a long weekend at the shop & after a couple quarts of rum based libations (yeah, I know doc said knock it off) proceeded to unwind into a mental place well deeper & beyond where I’ve been circling for the past 4 months & came to the painful realization that I’ve been SOOO hung up on WHAT went wrong Valentine’s weekend that I’ve failed to even consider WHY it went wrong. The avoidance of THAT failure mode led me to realize, as a pal of mine would put it, that the “man in the mirror” must be the root cause since these failures are a repeating pattern of which I’m the only common denominator.

Good news, bad news…the good news is that because of this painful realization the “what” that went SOOO wrong then no longer matters SOOO much & my soul has honestly begun letting go of it as I’ve been told to do repeatedly by the few MOST important people in my life, time to move on.

Bad news is that until I figure out how I manage to keep causing these failures I will NOT be involving ANYONE else in my nightmare of a life, at a personal level, which just SUX as Griz just doesn’t do “alone” well at all, as previously explained.

Last night, within the first hour @ MMS (my side job), I laid my thumb open royally. I’m sure I should’ve gotten stitches but just washed it off with rubbing alcohol, pushed the 3 flaps of meat back in place, wrapped a band aide around it then wrapped that with shipping / packing tape to try & keep most of the stray cutting oil out of it. Got home about 7 hours later, carefully unwrapped it re-cleaned it, added just a touch of Neosporin & a new band aide to keep on trucking. Before I lay back into the nightshift tonight I’ll have to add another layer of packing tape again for good measure LOL!

Anyhow, I’m taking this week off from the iron to regroup emotionally, mentally & physically. Need to lay a new battle plan for the iron this week, along with figuring out my new day job, it’s quirks, responsibilities all while figuring out my new boss too.

REALLY hoping to make it down to Panama City, FL in October for the BodyBuliding.Com shindig on the beach so HAVE to get this train wreck back on track & up to full steam SOON or I’ll just scare everybody away LOL!

Rock on pals!

Griz

I know, it's been FOREVER!!!

Okay, so I started this thing then the line went dead. Life's been a MF'er of a roller coaster these past weeks / months & not much of it has been happy / positive & you know what moma always said about only saying nice things LOL!


Been cranking hours in the gym "0" Dark-Thirty weekdays, flying the desk 8-5 then working the night shift building custom orthopeadic impants & instruments at a side job nights so just haven't had time to Blog & like I said...just hasn't been much positive to say anyhow. I know Blogs are suppsosed to be a GREAT place to vent & all but seems my dark side is already costing me friends slowly but surely so really not wanting to put much more of it out there anyhow. Funny how when you're down & life isn't so entertaining mosat folks burn out & just turn down the volume or change the channel completely. Times like these you really find out who the true friends are & who the users are...Griz always treies to be a supportive friend no matter what but admittedly just trrying to keep the wheels on my own sanity has limited how much energy is left trying to cheer others on in their lives too.


Sorry pals...not been much good to anyone lately... myself included.


Ciao for now pals. The good thing about hitting bottom is that it can ONLY get better from here!!!