Painful Realizations Hopefully Lead To Self Improvement...Right???

Well, gang most of this belongs on a shrink’s couch somewhere but venting is partly what Blogs are for right?

Sunday night I came home from a long weekend at the shop & after a couple quarts of rum based libations (yeah, I know doc said knock it off) proceeded to unwind into a mental place well deeper & beyond where I’ve been circling for the past 4 months & came to the painful realization that I’ve been SOOO hung up on WHAT went wrong Valentine’s weekend that I’ve failed to even consider WHY it went wrong. The avoidance of THAT failure mode led me to realize, as a pal of mine would put it, that the “man in the mirror” must be the root cause since these failures are a repeating pattern of which I’m the only common denominator.

Good news, bad news…the good news is that because of this painful realization the “what” that went SOOO wrong then no longer matters SOOO much & my soul has honestly begun letting go of it as I’ve been told to do repeatedly by the few MOST important people in my life, time to move on.

Bad news is that until I figure out how I manage to keep causing these failures I will NOT be involving ANYONE else in my nightmare of a life, at a personal level, which just SUX as Griz just doesn’t do “alone” well at all, as previously explained.

Last night, within the first hour @ MMS (my side job), I laid my thumb open royally. I’m sure I should’ve gotten stitches but just washed it off with rubbing alcohol, pushed the 3 flaps of meat back in place, wrapped a band aide around it then wrapped that with shipping / packing tape to try & keep most of the stray cutting oil out of it. Got home about 7 hours later, carefully unwrapped it re-cleaned it, added just a touch of Neosporin & a new band aide to keep on trucking. Before I lay back into the nightshift tonight I’ll have to add another layer of packing tape again for good measure LOL!

Anyhow, I’m taking this week off from the iron to regroup emotionally, mentally & physically. Need to lay a new battle plan for the iron this week, along with figuring out my new day job, it’s quirks, responsibilities all while figuring out my new boss too.

REALLY hoping to make it down to Panama City, FL in October for the BodyBuliding.Com shindig on the beach so HAVE to get this train wreck back on track & up to full steam SOON or I’ll just scare everybody away LOL!

Rock on pals!

Griz