Happy hump day gang!!! For those of you also on FB, this is a much more detailed version of my Alice Cooper; Welcome To My Nightmare posting from this morning. Their 420 character limit just BLOWS LOL!
Ya know, the subconscious mind is Murphy’s playground! Over roughly the past year I’ve shared & wrenched on demons, fears & doubts with a dear one & whenever something seems to have been resolved Murphy has redirected his attacks & has restoked their fires nearly every time.
Now just as a point of reference, Griz has always been one to dream deeply when sleeping. For years friends have been amazed at the craziness of my dreams & the level of detail that often lingers after waking but the older I get the deeper & more vivid the dreams have become. Another phenomenon of the past year or so has been an amazing correlation between the emotions & happenings of the day with the content & tone of the dreams. Great passionate days made for WOW! Nearly teenagerish euphoria & excitement in the dreams whereas the downer mad sad disappointing days have made for nightmarish nights, when sleep has even existed at all so apparently the older I get the more my subconscious is reaching out to connect with life.
Yesterday I had an email exchange with an old pal from a previous life, dredging up all the relational mistakes, bad life decision & BS assumptions I’ve made or allowed to exist in my past. So last night Murphy rolled’em all into quite a VIVID nightmare parade of hurt, sadness & angst, running what seemed EVERY freaking moment from pillow to alarm. Thank heavens for the leg day iron fest! Arose, racking headache & all, & drug my frazzled mind & somewhat weary carcass into Helga’s House of Pain for a right proper destruction from the hips down, burning off at least some of the night’s frustrations!
Ground out 54,120 LBs of LBWO iron, all the while searching for that magic & elusive reset button in my skull. Seems every time I begin to make some fitness progress, start building any kind of life momentum, or begin to get this gaping wound in my soul closing, Murphy finds a new way to grease the skids but I realize that’s just life! As I’ve mentioned a bazillion times already, having lived in a numb relationship for the past 10 or 15 years I’ve just forgotten how to handle the swings from elation to sadness which a passionate life sends your way in any sort of positive manner but admittedly each time it gets A LITTLE less painful, I can’t say ANY easier but the skin, or heart, must be finally toughening up some once again. Time for yet another reset & try again!
Rock on pals! Tomorrow’s another day & at least it’s downhill to the weekend from here!!!
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